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Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Am still in love with my ex?

Am I over my ex? Am I still in love with my ex? I miss my ex.  Will I ever be able to move on? Should I take my ex back? Are there ways of getting my exgirlfriend back? How do i get my exboyfriend back?
A break-up is extremely hard to deal with and getting over your ex (especially if you were deeply in love or in a long term relationship) can be even harder.
a single red rose

You might feel like you're eventually over your ex and that you're strong enough to move on but every action you make may be saying otherwise.
This is a list of major signs (which you might not have noticed) to let you know whether or not you are in fact over your ex yet.

Signs that you’re not over your ex
·         You remember your ex on his/her birthday and might call or text

Remembering your ex's birthday is one thing but remembering him/her on it is quite another.
It is normal to remember your ex's birthday because you once celebrated it with him/her but if you remember them on it every year then there’s definitely a problem.

Somehow in your subconscious mind (which is stronger than your conscious mind) you still feel like you’re together and that’s why you remember it.
Calling or texting your ex to say happy birthday is a sure sign that you still have feelings for him/her.


·         You remember and think about your ex on your anniversary

      If you still remember your exact anniversary date and think about your ex on it a while after the break-up then you’re definitely hooked on your ex.

·         You think about your ex a lot

Having a random moment when something might vaguely remind you of your ex is okay but if you constantly find yourself thinking about your ex or feel like everything you see or do reminds you of him/her then you’re not nearly over him/her yet.


·         You have or almost have called new dates (or opposite sex friends etc) by your ex's name

This is a big sign that your ex is still on you mind (and your subconscious mind) to such an extent that you end up finding yourself calling others by his/her name or almost doing so.

·         You think about your ex when you’re on dates or with prospective partners

This is a big deal because when you’re out on a date or with a prospective partner you’re mind and body are in dating / possible love mode. By thinking about your ex during this time it means that your mind and body still associate such occasions and feelings with your ex only.


·      You compare everyone to him/her

      If you’re in a current relationship, whenever you get into a fight with your partner or he/she hurts or upsets you in anyway, you think about how your ex wouldn’t have done that or wouldn’t have behaved in a specific way.

This is basically self-explanatory. You’re going through your life and future relationships clearly comparing all possible partners with your ex. You’re definitely not over your ex yet and by doing this you could be mentally ruining prospective good relationships (unless you decide to get back together with your ex).


·         When you think about your ex you smile

Thinking about your ex and smiling is not necessarily a bad sign as you might be smiling because you’ve come to terms with the current situation and that you’re not with each other anymore which is a good thing.
If you smile however, because everything about him/her just makes you so happy that you smile naturally (almost as if smiling from the heart) then you really still have feelings for your ex.

·         The thought of him/her being with anyone else upsets you

     This is probably the biggest and easiest sign to spot.

Test: If you can close your eyes and visualize seeing your ex with someone else and imagine what your first reaction would be or how you would feel inside you would know exactly what your feelings are with regards to your ex.


You may be with other people during the break-up in an attempt to move on or to distract yourself from your ex but if thinking about your ex with other people gives you a horrible feeling in your stomach and upsets you tremendously then you’re definitely not over him/her yet.
If you were over your ex you would be able to be happy with the idea of him/her moving on without you. It would be a case of you being glad that they’re happy and have moved on.

·         You sometimes feel like you may have made a mistake letting him/her go

Another obvious sign is regret. If you’ve been broken up for a few weeks or months even already and you still regret breaking up with him/her or not fighting to keep the relationship then that’s a major hint that you not over him/her. It’s clear that you’d still love the chance to fix things and haven’t moved on yet.

·         If your ex asked you to give the relationship another try you would be all for it

Test: If you can imagine your ex asking you to work on your relationship and give it one more try your reaction will give your feelings away.

Having the opportunity to try again, would you? Would you grab the chance to try and work on the relationship again? If your answer is yes then you are definitely not over your ex or the relationship.

Getting over someone takes time. Yes, you will eventually 'be over' your ex (if that's what you want) but you will never be able to forget about him/her. They're always going to be a part of your history and depending on how deep the connection was you're always going to have feelings for them to a certain extent. The feelings may fade with time but they're always going to be there.
If you really feel that your love for your ex is too strong and when trying the above mentioned tests (visualizing your ex with someone else or having them suggest giving the relationship another try) your re-actions point to still having love for him/her then maybe you should work towards figuring out how your ex feels and whether or not he/she feels the same.
 If your ex's feelings are the same as yours maybe you could move towards trying to get your ex back. Sometimes relationships work out better the second or third time around.
Everything is possible with love

There is nothing worse then regret. Its better to try and fail then to live with the thought of 'what if". As a great quote in the movie 'letters to Juliet' goes ‘What’ and ‘if’ two words as nonthreatening as words come. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: ‘What if?’…”
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9 comments:

  1. missing him... so much

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  2. Time heals you things will get better .

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  3. I miss the happy times we had. but i don't love him the way i used to

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  4. I still miss him like crazy. He was my first love...I don't even know whether he feels the same way too. I don't have the courage to ask him, but he seems to have moved on while I never stopped loving him. Love hurts...

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  5. I can't stop thinking about him......he was perfect. that's why I had to end it because I am not. he deserves the best. I miss our future we planned. and I miss feeling so secure in his love. I try to keep telling myself that he is too good for me and that is why we can't go back. but then it hits me how life is so dismal without him in it.

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  6. I love and miss my Ex Husband so much!! You would think 16 years later and I would be over him. There has not been a day that gone by that he was not on my mind. Driving in the car random songs come on always made me think of him.
    We married very young. I should have been a better wife.You do not know what you have until it's gone.
    In February of this year I got a friend request on facebook from him. At first I could not believe it, I accepted his request. The first thing I said was I'm so sorry. I have been carrying that around with me for 16 years always wanted to tell him how sorry I was for everything I did.I also told him I never change my last name because that was a part of him that I could not and would not let go!!
    Just wish in one day you will take me back at his wife. The wife that I should have been 16 years ago. Until then I am so happy to have him as my friend.. I love and miss you Brian Keith Anstedt!!

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    Replies
    1. Everything happens for a reason. Trust and believe that if it's meant to be nothing will keep you apart despite any mistakes that may have happened - true love always finds its way back to each other in the end. :)

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  7. I've always had moments where I suspect I might still be in love with my ex but after reading this and seeing every point made applies to me I now realize I do still love my ex 3.5 years after the breakup. After close to 3 years of dating we got engaged but quickly after troubles began as I couldn't get her parents blessing and finances got stessful as she got laid off work but the breaking point was when I took the death of my father real bad. I went to thefuneral alone and was gone for a whole month in depression. Upon return home my fiance wasn't too forgiving and we split. I thnk about her all the time and email her on her birthday and it pains me to see her with her bf. There's a part of me that wishes to pick up right where we left off before I disappeared

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    Replies
    1. Hi there

      Thanks a lot for sharing your feelings and story. I'm really sorry for what you're going through.
      Have you considered sharing your feelings with your ex? Maybe in a letter or email? You do not need to ask her to take you back or try again especially since she's in another relationship but sometimes it just helps to get things off your chest and gain a sense of closure in that she knows how you feel. That might help you move on a little easier.

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