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Friday, July 27, 2012

Dating someone a lot older or younger than you: Does age matter?

Should I date someone a lot older than me? Is it okay to date someone a lot older than I am? How do I deal with being in a relationship where my boyfriend / girlfriend is a lot older or younger than I am? How do I cope with my boyfriend being a lot younger than me?
There are many things to consider when getting into a relationship with someone where there is a major age gap or age difference. There are many factors that would allow you to decide how to handle your relationship and whether or not it is okay to be in it.

Britney (18) and Shaun (48)
  1.       The most important factor to consider is whether or not the age bracket is within legal limits.

If, for example one of you is the legal age for an intimate relationship in your town or city and the other isn’t; this could be a big problem depending on the extent of the relationship in which you’re involved.

     2.       Is he/ she on your emotional level?

Age can be irrelevant if both you and you partner are on the same emotional level. Your partner could be younger than you but emotionally mature and the other way around. This would cancel out the fact that you’re different age wise.

      3.       Are your personalities similarly aged?

If your personalities are similar in that you enjoy doing the same things and neither of you acts drastically older than the other then age shouldn’t matter.

      4.       Are you on the same commitment level?

You need to both be on the same level with regards to what you want from the relationship regardless of age. It shouldn’t be a case of one of you wants to be in a serious relationship because they’re older (or for any other reason) and the other would just like a casual relationship because they’re younger (or any other reason).

You need to be on the same commitment level. Many couples experience a problem of being on different commitment levels. It is more likely that you will experience this problem if you have a major age gap between you and your partner but if you can work on being on the same commitment  level you’d have one less thing to worry about with regards to age.

      5.       Do you agree on what is and isn’t acceptable within your relationship?

This problem is sometimes evident in instances where the younger person in the relationship is not ready for certain aspects of the relationship or intimacy levels and the other is resulting in one of the partners being or feeling pressurised into doing something he or she isn’t ready for.

With regards to dating someone older or younger than you are, it’s not the age that counts but is rather a case of being on the same levels of maturity, emotionally and personality wise. Age is literally just a number.
If you’re on the same level in every way beside age wise then don’t let that stop you from enjoying a long and fruitful relationship.
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