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Friday, November 29, 2013

Should I talk to my boyfriend / girlfriend everyday? How often should I text or call my boyfriend / girlfriend?

In a relationship, how often should you talk? How often should I hear from my girlfriend / boyfriend? is it okay to talk to my boyfriend or girlfriend once a day / week or month?

New relationships can be highly challenging... older ones too. There is no guide on how or what a relationship should be like. There is no set of rules on what is the way to do things. There are though some common ways of doing things, healthy ways of having a relationship and common ways of carrying one out.

If you're stuck regarding communication, texts, phone calls, etc in your relationship, this should help clear that up a little.


How often should I talk to or hear from my boyfriend / girlfriend?

The short answer to this is: as often as you like or agree on. It's you're relationship - you make the rules. if you're happy to hear from each other multiple times a day then that's great. If you're fine with once a week or every other day then that's okay too. The amount of times you communicate depend on a lot of things.


1. How often do you see each other

If you attend school together, work together or live together, you wouldn't need to call or text each other that month. Please note, I said NEED to and not shouldn't. In some relationships especially new ones you can be with someone all day and still text them or instant message them when they're away for a few hours. That's perfectly fine if you and your partner are comfortable with that. if you're happy hearing from each other often then that is perfectly okay. If, however, you feel that your partner may feel that you are clingy or needy or fear that that's the way they see you or they dislike that kind of behavior then a simple good night text or good morning text will do (if you don't live together).

2. How indepth are yur communication sessions?

If you and your partner make contact once every few days or a couple of times a week but you often have long lengthy discussions or conversations then that's okay too. if you're just having casual "Hi. How are you. how's everything going. That's good. Goodbye / goodnight" conversations but it's limited to once or twice a week then there might be a problem.

3. How far apart are you?

People who rarely get to see each other, are in a long distance relationship or are internet dating (and maybe haven't even met yet), usually spend more time communicating as it is the only viable way to form a connection with the other person. if you can't be with the other person physically the best way of forming a bond with them is t form an emotional connection. these are sometimes (most times) stronger than physical bonds, last longer and can withstand almost anything.

4. How new is your relationship?

When you're in a new relationship you're more likely to text or call each other more often. This is often due to the fact that everything is still in somewhat of a honey moon phase where you're both still highly excited about everything and want to keep in contact with each other almost all the time due to this.
If there is a decrease in contact as the newness of your relationship fades this should not be a dramatic one. You shouldn't go from chatting a few times a day to once a week or everyday to once a week. It should be barely noticeable like a few times a day to once a day or once a day to every second day.

5. Has there been a change (decrease especially) in the amount of times you communicate?

Sometimes the communication fdes or dies and the calls or texts decrease dramatically. This is not always a sign that the relationship is ending but that the excoitement has warn off/ Sometimes it can just be due to the act that you know each other a lot better and there isn't that much to talk about or say anymore (almost like you've run out of things to say). This in itself could be a problem for numerous reasons (compatibility being the most major) it can be worked on and fixed though.

How often should I text or call my boyfriend / girlfriend on average?


My best advice when it comes to a relationship and contact is to keep it regular. you're in a relationship with the other person. They shouldn't need to wonder if everything is still okay between the two of you, if you're still in a relationship or if you've moved past them. You should keep contact at least once a day to be on the safe side. Twice a day would be even better. A text in the morning and one at night could never do any harm. If you feel like you don't have anything new to say a simple "thinking about you... good night / Good Morning" text should do. Relationships take a lot of hard work to build and maintain. it only takes a minute to text someone and make their day - do it.
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