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Monday, December 8, 2014

How to stop looking up / cyberstalking your ex

How do I stop googling my ex? How can I stop checking my ex's facebook? How can I stop reading my ex's tweets? How can I stop checking up on my ex via the Internet? How can I stop cyberstalking my ex?


A relationship (a meaningful one as opposed to a casual fling in most cases) is forever. You may break up but that person will always be a part of your history. You'll always remember him or her and he / she will always be something to you and you to them - an ex. It's a title - a name = that means more than being nothing to each other. That makes him / her something of yours as opposed to just a random person on the street. That's the difference.

It's because of this that even if we've subconsciously said that we've moved on (and maybe in some way we have) - whether you're with someone else, married or even just accepted the fact that you can't be with the said person, you might still find yourself checking up on him / her. You can't help googling their name to see what pops up, looking at their social media profiles to see what's happening in their lives, trying to find out if they still think of you or who's currently in their lives. You know that you shouldn't and you really want to stop but you just can't help it.

This is not a good idea for many reasons:
  • You never know what you might see
    Seeing your ex happy with someone else might hurt you more than you think. This might be a case of - What you don't know won't harm you. Break-ups can be extremely painful. The pain can last forever depending on the intensity of the relationship regardless of how long ago the relationship ended - who needs anymore pain?  
  • There may be a viewing tracker
    Some websites, as part of what they consider valued features, inform profile holders of activities such as who viewed their profile. You might not be aware of this at the time of viewing your exes profile - once you click on his / her name their no going back. Can you bare the thought of your ex getting a notification saying "Casey just viewed your profile" or even worse "Profile views today: Casey 12:26, Casey 13:46, Casey 19:46, Jake 13:46, Casey 22:00, Casey 01:04 ..."
  • It makes it hard to move on
    Sometimes the hardest part of a breakup is getting together the strength and the courage to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and move on. It's ten times harder doing this when you keep on involving yourself in your exes life even if it is just through spying. It makes it hard to let go.
Even though knowing that it's not the best thing to do or healthy for you, it still doesn't make it any easier to stop doing it. It's so hard to resist. It's one of the hardest temptations to kick but you need to try your very beat.

Delete your exes phone number so that you can't call, block him or her on your social media sites so that it's harder to search him or her and maybe while you're going through a long process in trying to unblock him/her to spy you'll come to your senses and stop.

There's nothing else you can do but try.
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