How to deal with your Boyfriend’s first love being his Laptop: True Love Stories

How do I deal with my boyfriend constantly being online? How do I deal with my boyfriend’s love for his laptop? How do I deal with my gamer boyfriend? My boyfriend loves his laptop, how do I deal with this?

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2 years ago I started dating the sweetest, most amazing guy. He was everything I never knew I needed, and he made me incredibly happy. Little did I know that he had another woman in his life, a woman who had been there long before I had, and was with him every moment: His laptop.

Unlike a real human “other woman”, when your boyfriend’s first love is his laptop (or his game console, for that matter), you can’t pull her hair or talk about her behind her back. A laptop will always be there, like his mother or his favourite hideous orange tee shirt.

Now ladies, it doesn’t matter if your man is a gamer, an Internet troll, a hacker, or any other type of computer “geek”; if he spends more than 2 hours a day doing “nothing” on his laptop, I’m talking to you.

So now that you’ve discovered that your boyfriend or husband has his own computer wife Karen (yep, that’s a SpongeBob reference), you need to learn how to deal.

Here are a few pointers to help you get started:

1.     Don’t make him choose!

Ladies, let’s be real here: If you demand that your man choose between you or his laptop, chances are he’s going to be out the door before you can say “Modern Warfare 3”. This isn’t because he doesn’t love you more than his laptop; it’s because you won’t let him do something he loves! That’s not okay, ladies! He probably wishes you wouldn’t spend so much time on Pinterest, but you don’t see him trying to make you stop! I mean, we as women always demand men don’t tell us what to do, so why should this be any different? I mean, come on ladies. We both know that if he said, “It’s me or this puppy/baby/pair of Tony Burch flats”, we’d all be kicking his butt out the door! So if you want to keep him, don’t make him choose. Just don’t.

2.     Give him time to play.

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Men are like animals sometimes. Always have been, always will be. You might think that they’ve grown out of their boyish aggression and hyperactivity, but unfortunately for us, they have not. Sometimes guys just need time to be guys! Some dudes play sports. Some dudes play music, or do other extra-curricular activities. Our men play video games. Some of you may be thinking, “Ugh, he needs to grow up! He’s a grown man, why does he need to play games?” Because he likes them, ladies! Guys need some excitement in their lives, and what better way than to explore, discover, and kill things in a video game? So just give them some time ladies. Most guys will really appreciate it if you let them have a little time to themselves every day to browse the web or play an hour of their favourite computer game, without complaining. Plus, he’ll be much more willing to do things with you, like go shopping for drapes or to a play, when he knows you let him do his own thing sometimes too.

However, if your man begins to game obsessively and stops being himself because of it, he could have a game addiction. Check this article out for more info

3.     Gain some knowledge.

If you truly want to be with your gamer man, you have to at least know something about his favourite game or website! For example, if your man loves Reddit, you should probably at least know what Reddit is! Take some time out of your day to ask your man some questions about his game or favourite website. Now, don’t be annoying if he’s trying to beat something or post something by asking him a million trivial questions like “Why don’t we talk anymore?” In casual conversation between the two of you, tell him you saw him playing a game or browsing a site really often, and want to know a little more about it. Chances are he’ll be really excited to explain it to you; guys love feeling like they’re an expert on things. Ask him why he likes the particular site or game, or how he first came across it. Doing this will show him that, while this may not be your thing, you care about him enough to want to know more about something that he really enjoys. You don’t have to be an expert on it; just listen to the answers he gives, and have a conversation about it. Once you’ve done that, he’ll probably think about you while he’s “cheating” with his other woman; he’ll think of other things he wants to explain or clarify for you. That will spark another conversation, and we all know that conversation is key in any relationship.

Image courtesy of  imagerymajestic / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

4.     Don’t try to change YOU.

I have seen this time and time again when it comes to girls dating computer literate guys. They try to morph themselves to fit what they think their man wants; they spend time and effort thinking of ways to convince their man that they too are “cheating” with their laptop, in the hopes that it will spark a deeper connection. Ladies, that’s not the case! I mean, sure, if your man shows you a game or site you find really interesting, of course you can pursue it! I am in no way saying that gaming or trolling the Internet is just for guys, because it’s not. However, if you are anything like me, you probably don’t find anything about games or browsing the same forum for hours on end very appealing, so DON’T PRETEND YOU DO! If your man wanted a lady who he could play his favourite game with, he wouldn’t have pursued a relationship with someone who didn’t know anything about it. He chose you for YOU, so don’t pretend to be someone else! Being interested in what he likes is one thing, but trying to become something you aren’t is another. If he wants you to change who you are, find someone who wants you the way you are.

So there you have it! A few tips to help peel his gaze away from the computer screen. 

In this world of ever-increasingly technological reliance, it can be easy for guys to forget that we exist. So just take a breath, follow the tips I’ve described, and I promise everything will be fine.

About the Guest Author: 

Taylor "DomesticMajestic" is a college student and the author of the blog, A Girl's Guide to a Gamer Guy: Everything You Never Wanted to Know About Internet Culture. She enjoys writing information, humorous blogs about dating in this age of technology. Feel free to email her at domesticmajestic@gmail.com. 

If you'd like to guest post or contribute your story, feel free to email me at: lovelifeandrelationships@gmail.com

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