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Tuesday, September 16, 2014

How to get more attention from your boyfriend: How can I get my boyfriend to spend more time with me?

How can I get my boyfriend to give me more attention? How can I get my boyfriend to spend more time with me? Why won't my boyfriend give me more attention? Why won't my boyfriend give me more of his time?

If you've ever had this cross your mind then this is the article for you.

Relationships can be hard. they can be taxing. they can be stressful. There's just always something new to worry about. In the beginning - the 'honeymoon phase' everything seems perfect; you might even have your boyfriend spending tons of time with you and being around almost 24/7, then suddenly out of the blue this might all change.

There is no sure way to get your boyfriend to spend more time with you or even to be around you more but the following might help.

Why isn't my boyfriend giving me enough attention?

The first step is to try and figure out why your boyfriend is giving you less attention or isn't giving you enough. Try talking to him, express how you feel and flat out ask him why he hasn't been around as much or seems to be otherwise occupied.
The benefit of this is that you're opening communication with your partner. This will allow him to know how you feel and things could drastically change for the better.
You might fond that:
- He thought you wanted him to be around less for some reason
- He's been busy with school or work
- He's been dealing with some other problem at home or within his family
There could be a legitimate reason that you wouldn't be aware of unless you asked.

Alternatively, you could ask and get a bland answer like:
- I haven't been giving you less attention.
- I think we need some space.
- My friends need some of my time too.

In which case you'll at least know where his head is at and you can then act accordingly (as in the rest of this article).

What can I do to make him spend more time with me?

The following tips might help you get your boyfriends attention. Please note that it is not guaranteed to work for everybody and that you will need to use your own discretion. not all guys are the same. You know your boyfriend better than me or anyone else so you will know what would and wouldn't work with him.

Spend less time with him
If your boyfriends wants more time apart; give it to him. There is no use trying to 'force' someone to be with you. Would you rather he spent time with you because he wanted to or because he felt obliged or forced to? It's better to have him want to be with you then be miserable because he feels like he has to.
Don't complain about him wanting to be elsewhere. Seem happy about it (even if you aren't) and maybe he'll begin to wonder why.

When he's out with his friends or doing something else; don't message or call him. Don't ask him were he is, what he's doing, when he'll be back, how it's going, etc. Leave it at an out of sight out of mind kind of thing. By you doing this he might begin to wonder why it seems like you don't care and that might make him care more.

Don't be as available / make plans or fake plans
You do not need to slot into his plans! Don't be the fall back person for him or the person that he hangs around with when he has nothing else better to do.
If he's going to be with his friends on Saturday and asks what you're doing on Sunday so that you can hang out say that you're busy (going out with friends, hanging out with your cousins, etc). even if you really aren't doing anything, could change your plans or are going to be home, don't let him know that. Let his schedule revolve around yours and your availability. Don't be the back up plan.

Get occupied - spend more time with your friends or get a hobby
To help yourself cope with him having other plans or priorities, develop some of your own. Nothing hurts worse than being home alone, watching TV or sitting around while wondering what your boyfriends doing, where he is, who he's with or what he's getting up to. The thoughts alone are enough t drive you insane! Make plans of your own. call up some old friends, grab dinner or a movie, have some drinks or a night out and have some fun. Have a distraction even f it means formulating a new hobby. If you can get your mind off him and onto something else, time will fly faster, it will be less hurtful for you and his mind will be on you before you know it. he'll notice that you don't care.

See 'other people'
The most daring of all would be to suggest to your boyfriend that you "see other people". This is a really brave move because it has potential to backfire. Your boyfriend could agree to this and you could end up breaking up or he could agree to it and you could end up in an open relationship which you may not want to be in. Alternatively, and what you may be hoping would happen is that he isn't okay with the idea, realizes that you're relationship should actually be serious or gets jealous and ends up spending more time with you. please think carefully before trying out this tip.

As has been mentioned earlier in this article; you can't force someone to spend time with you. It's either they want to or they don't. It's better to spend time with those who want to be around you than someone who doesn't. if your partner would rather spend all his time with others and neglects to give you any attention despite knowing how you feel, maybe its time you reconsidered your relationship.

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