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Tuesday, October 14, 2014

How to stop your ex from calling / texting you: How can i get my ex to stop contacting me?

How can I stop my ex from texting me? How can I get my ex to stop calling me? How can I make my ex stop contacting me all together?

Break-ups can be extremely hard. Some people take it better than others and everyone reacts to the differently. For some people can easily accept that something is over and move on, others find it hard to accept but nonetheless keep to themselves and move on while others refuse to accept a break up and may even resort to stalking or obsession.

If you feel that your ex will not accept the fact that your relationship is over or that you've moved on and want to avoid contact, the following might help:

1. Communicate your views to him / her
The first thing to do and the courteous thing to do is to make sure you're on the same page. Your ex may not know how you feel and might be hopeful that if he / she keeps trying you'll take him / her back. Another thought that might be going through your exes mind is that you're not serious regarding how you feel. He / she might think that you’re just trying to punish him / her and that if they persist you'll take them back or plan to anyway or maybe you've behaved similarly in the past and then taken them back. If this is the case you need to vice your thoughts and feelings to your ex one more time and if this doesn't work proceed with the next step.

2. Ignore him / her
As mentioned above, you need to communicate your feelings ONE MORE TIME and ONE MORE TIME ONLY. Don't keep on repeating yourself or trying to explain or anything. Sometimes getting any form of reaction or reply from you even if it's negative is better than getting nothing. Your ex may carry on because he / she knows you're going to react and they thus getting communication from you. You need to stop. Don't reply, don’t answer the calls, don't communicate at all - not to say 'leave me alone', not to say 'stop calling', not to say 'it’s over'. Just ignore him / her.

3. Do not make contact
This is a given. If you don't want him / her contacting you, don't contact him / her. Don't feel satisfied by his / her attempts at contacting you and then suddenly when he / she stops feel the need to make contact. That might happen but if you're considerate of his or her feelings you'll allow him / her the chance to move on and avoid contacting him / her at all. Don't call, text, email, Facebook friend, tweet, poke etc. Just leave him / her alone.

4. Block him or her from all forms of social media.
It's part of avoiding contact and communication and doesn’t need much explaining. Just do it - it's for the best. Allowing him or her to see you go on with your life or with other people and vice versa could only result in unnecessary hurt and prohibit the ability to move on.

5. Block his / her numbers
If your ex won’t stop calling or texting contact your service provider or research how to block his or her phone numbers from your home. This won’t stop him / her from using a public phone or different phone card but it's a step in the right direction and will allow him or her to see how serious you actually are.

6. Threaten to contact the authorities for harassment
Let your ex know that if he / she doesn't stop making contact with you / threatening you / harassing you, you will contact the police and report the harassment to them. This might scare him / her into stopping. 

7. Finally - contact the police
If all else fails and especially if you or your partner feel threatened or that your life or well-being may be in danger, contact the police and report your ex to then possibly obtaining a restraining order. This is a major step and should only be carried out if you feel it is really necessary. 

Break-ups are never easy. I always prefer for them to end on a good note even if it is a sad goodbye. Having to end things badly or especially with something like threats or a restraining order are really not great but all situations and circumstances are different and everyone has to do what's best for them. Do what's best for you. Good luck!
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