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Monday, September 21, 2015

My ex boyfriend / girlfriend is threatening to hurt him / herself : Emotional Blackmail

My Ex is threatening to hurt himself if I don't leave. My ex says that she will harm herself if I leave her. My ex is emotionally blackmailing me. What do I do?

Break-ups can be extremely hard on most people. Everyone reacts differently to pain and anger so it is no wonder break-ups may evoke vast and sometimes extreme reactions in people.

Break-ups hurt

Break-ups are more intense in certain situations and depending on circumstances - depending on the extent of commitment in the relationship, the intensity of feelings, the duration of the relationship, whether or not it was one of either parties first serious relationship etc. Despite this, however, the ending of a relationship shpuld never result in the ending of a life or more pain and confusion in the form of blackmail of any kind.

Sad love quotes
If you're ex is threating to hurt him or herself should you leave or not take him / her back this could be highly serious. He or she may actually do it or attemnpt doing it in an aim to get your attention, get back at you or cope with the pain of the break-up. Regardless of the reasoning this would result in incredible pain and guilt to you even though it would not be your fault but your ex's decision.
Your ex may also be lying or exaggerating in an aim to get your attention, force you into a relationship with him / her or in hope that you would realise that you still care and thus love him or her.

Threats of any sort especially self harm in the form of emotional blackmail are extrmely selfish and dangerous.

The following may help youy deal with them.
I'm not over you

1. Rather be safe than sorry
- there ois a chance that ypur ex could be bluffing / lying and trying to get your attention or find out what your reaction would be but there is always the possibility that he / she could be serious. You know your exes mentality and emotional state so you would be more likely to know this. It is always better , though, to rather be safe than sorry. It would be better for you to assume that your ex was being truthful even if he / she is lying than to assume that he or she is not being serious and to later find out that he / she was being serious afterall.

2. Speak to him / her
-  Let your ex know that you care about him / her and that will never change but that self harm will not solve anything.  Sometimes this is the attention that they looking for and communicating with him or her (especially if you had been ignoring him / her or sticking to the silent treatment) may fuel the fire and encourage him / her to proceed with the threats as they will see that it gets a rise out of you. It's due to this that it is im[poryant that you opnly have one talk with your ex about this and that if he / she doesn't take your advise and proceeds with the threats, you move on to the next step.

Ex love quotes
3. Tell someone
- Make contact with your ex's family member (mom, dad, cousin or close friend) and inform them of your exes behaviour. if you have proof in the form of messages or letters this would come in handy. let them know that you are concerned and request that they help your ex.


If your ex is threatining to harm him / herself then whether or not he or she is being serious, he or she is not in a very stable mindset. Taking this into consideration i would strpngly advise tht you DO NOT go anywhere with your Ex ALONE. For as far as possible, chat to him / her regarding their  issue telepjhonically or via video chat. If you would like to do it in person take a family member or friend of your ex's with you or meet in a public place.
NEVER agree to "one last night together" EVER. This has ended tragically for many people. As sad and scary as it is, many have lost their lives this way. When someone is not in a stable minset emotionally there is no telling how things will play out. Please be careful.

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