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Thursday, October 22, 2015

5 things that prove you are NOT OVER your ex: Moving on

Am I still in love with my ex? Do I still have feelings for my ex? What are some signs that I'm not over my ex? How do I know if I'm still hung up on my ex? Why am I still in love with my ex?

Breakups are far from pleasant when they involve someone you were deeply connected to, in love with or in a serious relationship / long term relationship with.
At times we may try to convince ourselves that we've moved on or are over someone when our actions prove otherwise.

Here are 5 major signs that you are NOT over your ex or still in love with him or her.

1. I Cyber stalk my ex
If you are constantly checking up on your ex via social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc) viewing their profile pictures, finding out who they recently added as friends, tracking their whereabouts or what they're getting up to with who, your mind is clearly still stuck on your ex.
When you move on from someone you don't care whether or not they're dating someone else, what hour of the night they're returning home or how they spend their time. You're passed that.
If you still feel compelled to google your ex or search them online more often then not, you are definitely not over them in some way.

2. I still compare my current partner or other people I've dated since my ex to my ex
If you find yourself comparing your current partners to your ex in anyway - how different they are in bed, the way they treat you, in fights or arguments, etc or find yourself thinking "(EX's name) wouldn't have done that." Or "(EX's name) would have said that" then you clearly haven't moved on yet at least on a subconscious level.

3. I still get jealous when I see my ex with someone else or hear that he / she might be with someone else
This is sad but true. Unfortunately there are just some ex's that your feelings run so deep for that no matter what you will never be 'happy' seeing them happy with someone else. Even if you've married someone else yourself, you will never be able to look at a photo of your ex with someone else and not feel that twitch in your stomach or an ounce of sadness.

4. If he / she were to contact me today and suggest we try again, I'd say YES
This is a total no brainer. Knowing that you would want your ex back if it were at all possible is the quickest and easiest way to find out whether or not you're over them. Ask yourself flat out:
- If it were at all possible for us to get back together and he / she suggested it would I say yes?
If you would then there's your answer! - You are definitely not over your ex.

5. I'm still holding on to my ex's ...
If you're holding on to something of your ex - a photo, a t-shirt, a teddy, a bracelet etc - you cannot be over him / her. Holding on to something of theirs is a symbol for you holding on to them. You have not let go!

All that being said, there are levels to "being over your ex".
Sometimes being over your ex means the ability to acknowledge that you still have feelings for him / her and that you possibly always will. 
There is NO harm in admitting your feelings. It beats denial any day. At the same time, you need to be able to go on with your life knowing that your ex will always have that 'special place in your heart' but opening yourself up to love again and acknowledging the fact that you will probably never get to be together again for whatever reason (if that is the case).

Not being over your ex is an issue if:
-  Your ex doesn't feel the same way and it's just causing you hurt and pain
- You're obsessing over your ex in a negative way
- Your feelings for your ex are disrupting your current life or causing any depression

You may also want to read:

Am I still in love with my EX (Quiz)
How long will it take for me to be over my ex
Signs that your ex is over you / has moved on
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