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Monday, September 17, 2018

Songs about abusive / dysfunctional relationships and overcoming them

Are there any songs about  abusive / dysfunctional relationships? Are there any songs about overcoming  abusive / dysfunctional relationships?

Having been in an  abusive / dysfunctional relationship myself and having overcome mine, I know how beneficial music is in helping you cope as well as providing inspiration and reminding you that you can make it through.

Here are a few of the songs that stood out for me as reminders of the negative relationship I was in as well as those that inspired me and helped me through the difficulties I faced providing inspiration and encouragement to push on and make it through.

Songs about negative abusive / dysfunctional relationships

Love the way you lie - Eminem

Lyrics, references / meanings:
Victim: Just gonna stand there And watch me burn
But that's alright Because I like The way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there And hear me cry
But that's alright Because I love The way you lie
I love the way you lie
Abuser: Where you going?
Victim: I'm leaving you
Abuser: No you ain't. Come back!

We're running right back

I snapped. Who's that dude?
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her. I'll never stoop so low again.
I guess I don't know my own strength

It's the rage that's the culprit
- It controls you both.
So they say it's best To go your separate ways. Guess that they don't know us
Cause today, That was yesterday. Yesterday is over. It's a different day.
Sound like broken records Playin' over But you promised her -
Next time you'll show restraint
But you lied again Now you get to watch her leave Out the window Guess that's why they call it window pane

Baby please come back It wasn't you Baby it was me Maybe our relationship Isn't as crazy as it seems
All I know is I love you too much To walk away now.
Come inside Pick up your bags off the sidewalk Don't you hear sincerity In my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault Look me in the eyeball Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist At the dry wall
I apologize Even though I know it's lies.
I'm tired of the games I just want her back I know I'm a liar If she ever tries to f***ing leave again I'm a tie her to the bed And set this house on fire

The lyrics in this song demonstrates the role of the victim as being naive and staying because of the numerous apologies and false sincerity from the abuser as well as the fact that she loves him so much that even the lies become addictive.
It also clearly shows the abusers lies and the fact that the longer she stays the more dangerous the situation gets and leaving at a later stage could prove fatal for her because that is how twisted the mind of an abuser could be

Please don't leave me - Pink

Lyrics, references / meanings:

I don't know if I can yell any louder
How many time I've kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
When my heart is, broken
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I'm always saying how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me

I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.

recurring and lies about changing
"You're my perfect little punching bag and i need you. I'm sorry"

Bon Jovi – You Give Love a Bad Name

Lyrics, references / meanings:

An angel's smile is what you sell

You promise me heaven, then put me through Hell
Chains of love got a hold on me
When passions a prison, you can't break free

 Girl by Destiny's Child 

Lyrics, references / meanings:
Victim: See what y'all don't know about him
Is I can't let him go because he needs me
It ain't really him its stress from the job
And I ain't making it easy
I know you see him bugging most of the time
But I know he be tired he don't mean it
It gets hard sometimes
But I need my man
I don't think ya'll understand
I'm telling you

Songs about overcoming abuse and being strong enough to move on 

Brave - Bareilles

Lyrics, references / meanings:

You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody’s lack of love
Or you can start speaking up
Nothing’s gonna hurt you the way that words do
And they settle ‘neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins
But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
Everybody’s been there, everybody’s been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
Don’t run, stop holding your tongue
Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Innocence, your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty

Fight Song - Rachel Platten

Lyrics, references / meanings:

And all those things I didn't say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I'm alright song
My power's turned on
Starting right now I'll be strong
I'll play my fight song
And I don't really care if nobody else believes
'Cause I've still got a lot of fight left in me

Andra Day - Rise up

You're broken down and tired
Of living life on a merry go round
And you can't find the fighter
But I see it in you so we gonna walk it out
And move mountains
We gonna walk it out
And move mountains
And I'll rise up
I'll rise like the day
I'll rise up
I'll rise unafraid
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousand times again
And I'll rise up
High like the waves
I'll rise up
In spite of the ache
I'll rise up
And I'll do it a thousands times again

Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You) – Kelly Clarkson

Lyrics, references / meanings:
You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want
You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone

Poem about overcoming abuse

From Movie "For colored girls"

Somebody almost ran off with all of my stuff and I was standing there looking at myself the whole time. 
It wasn't a spirit that ran off with my stuff. It was a man whose ego walked 'round like a shadow. 
It was a man faster than my innocence. 
It was a lover I made too much room for. 
Almost ran off with all my stuff and the one running with it don't know he got it. I'm shouting, "This is mine!" and he don't even know he got it. 
My stuff is the anonymous ripped-off treasure of the year. 
Did you know somebody almost got away with me? Me, in a plastic bag under his arm. 

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