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Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Can ex's still be friends? Should i still be friends with my ex?

Is it okay to be really close friends with your ex boyfriend / ex girlfriend? Is it okay to be friends with my ex wife / ex husband? Would we still be able to be friends if we break-up? Will breaking up ruin our friendship? Is it okay to stay friends after a relationship ends? How do you stay friends with your ex?
Friends with ex's: Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The ending of a relationship can be extremely painful and so often we either hear or utter the words 'maybe we can still be friends'.
There are various reasons why or when being friends with your ex would work and why or when it wouldn't.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Reason why you'd want to be friends with an ex

After a break up many consider or bring up the thought of being friends with their ex for various reasons.
  • It's better to be friend with an ex and still have a part of him / her in your life then to loose him / her completely.
  • You were close friends before dating or getting into a romantic relationship.
  • You see each other often (at work or school, etc) and being friends would be easier than the complete awkwardness of trying to avoid each other.
  • You have a child or children together and for their sake it would be better if you got along.
The above reasons are all completely valid and reasonable with regards to the fact that sometimes it is for the best that you be or become friends with your ex after a break up. Sometimes, however being friends with him or her might not be such a good idea.

Reasons why you shouldn't be friend with your ex
Loving someone while they love someone else:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
  • He or she might have sprung the 'maybe we can still be friends' line out of pity or as a consolation to the fact that he / she was breaking up with you.
  • He / she might be looking to be more of a 'friend with benefits' in order to continue somewhat of a relationship with you while being able to see or be with other people (due to the fact that you're no longer an official couple).
  • If one of you is completely interested in being friends (nothing more and nothing less) and the other still has feelings for the other, this could ultimately result in feelings of hurt along the line. It would be seriously painful for the one who still had feeling for the other if he / she (the other) started dating someone else, for example.
There are many pros and cons to being friends with an ex as well as reasons why you would or wouldn't want to do it. The important thing is to think about all the scenarios (he / she dating someone else, he / she still having feelings for you and you not feeling the same or the other way around, still being in each others lives) and decide what would ultimately be the best thing for the both of you.

Remember, becoming friends and then deciding you shouldn't be friends anymore after a few weeks or months for whatever reason could be just as bad as going through the break up all over again.
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My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online

My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online
Shaylee has a secret she's been hiding from everyone... Beneath her brave exterior lies a girl bruised and scarred by life but strong enough to make it through anything. Moral of the story: Sometimes we don't find love because we don't know what to look for.