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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

How to write a letter to your ex: writing a letter to your ex

Could I write a letter to get my ex back? Should I write my ex a letter? Why should I write my ex a letter? What are the advantages or benefits of writing my ex a letter? How do I write an effective letter to my ex?
A classic love letter

Writing a letter is one of the oldest ways of communicating. In demonstrating the power of letters it is a great idea to measure the historical and classic value and romance in love letters.
A letter can be used as one of the best forms of communication with regards to your ex. There are various reasons why you might wanna consider writing your ex a letter or situations / scenarios where writing your ex a letter might not only be appropriate but also highly beneficial.

When should I write my ex a letter?
waiting for him to text
A letter to your ex can be written during various situations or for various reasons. The following are a few of the most important or major reasons for writing your ex a letter and in which writing a letter to your ex would prove really useful.
      ·        Your ex refuses to speak to you or communicate with you or you have a mutual decision to cut all contact.
       ·        Whenever you and your ex talk (via phone or in person) it - more often than not - results in an argument or fight.
       ·        You feel shy or nervous when it comes to talking to your ex, expressing your feelings or apologising.
      ·        You feel like your ex never listens to what you have to say or doesn’t give you a chance to talk or get your point across.
        ·        You’re trying to win your ex back and know that romance is one of his/her weaknesses.

Why should I write my ex a letter: Advantages of writing your ex a letter

There are many advantages to writing your ex a letter.
Listed below are a few of these:
missing him
       ·        Letters are still highly romantic and almost everyone has a soft spot for a little romance.
      ·        A letter allows you to get your opinion, feelings and views across without being interrupted.
         ·        It prevents direct arguments
        ·        It allows you to get your feelings and thoughts across without feeling shy or nervous.
      ·        You have a chance to plan and think out exactly what you want to say to your ex and how. In direct conversations (over the phone or in person) you usually don’t have much time to plan your thoughts resulting in you forgetting certain things during conversation, feeling like you should have said something else after the talk or you might end up saying something that you regret or wish you didn’t say later.
      ·        Sometimes it’s hard to apologise to someone in person or over the phone; a letter makes things a little easier and allows you to put all your feelings into words after much thought; making your apology even more heart felt.

a love letter
Tips for writing a letter to your ex.

  §  Appeal to your ex – you know what your exes weaknesses are: If he or she loves romance, be romantic. If he/she loves compliments, compliment him/her. Calling him/her by the nickname you used while you were in a relationship usually softens up the other person even more.
 §  If you want your ex back let them know but let them know that it’s up to them too. Don't spend the whole letter begging your ex to take you back. Let him or her know that you'd love to fix things but make your last sentence be that you want him/her to be happy so you want him/her to decide what he/she wants to do and if he/she feels that they'd be happier without you then you'd be willing to leave and go on with your life for his/her sake.
  §  Don’t expect a reply or anything – getting one will be a bonus. Be content with the fact that you got to tell your ex exactly how you feel. Don't write the letter expecting a reply, that you'll get back together or anything else. If anything really good comes about due to the letter, view this as a bonus and be glad, but if nothing happens then be okay with that too.
  §  Be as open and honest as you possibly can be. Tell your ex EVERYTHING you want to say because you might not get another opportunity. Treat it as your final words to your ex and be honest and truthful.
How do I write a letter to my ex or structure a letter to my ex more effectively?

Writing a letter to your ex should be really simple as it should be no different from you having a conversation with him/her. Say things how you usually would, be yourself and appeal to your ex as you know him/her better than anyone else.

The first thing to do before even starting your letter is to make sure you know why you’re writing it:

¾    Are you trying to get closure on the break up?
¾    Are you trying to apologise?
¾    Are you trying to get your ex back?
¾    Are you trying to tell your ex to move on?

Once you know why you’re writing you will be able to better structure and form your letter. Here is a brief and simple structure for a letter to your ex:

holding hands forever
  1. Opening: Say "Hi", "Hey" or whatever you'd normally say to your ex in a happy content way. Don't start your letter off or end it seeming angry or unhappy. Be happy and content throughout the letter. The only other emotion you should display is sadness or regret. No anger!
  2. Tell your ex the reason for the letter: Say that you're writing because you'd like him/her to know a few things, you feel like there's a few things you never got to say to him/her or you need final closure on the break up.
  3. Remind your ex about the good: Remind your ex or thank him/her for all the good times, bring up a few memories or fun times you shared, recap on a fun event or remind him/her about something romantic or sweet that you did together.
  4. Apologise or regret: If you feel that you need to apologise for anything this would be the time. Tell your ex how you regret breaking his/her heart, all your mistakes in the relationship or even just that you regret the fact that things ended or the way they ended.
  5. Express yourself: Tell your ex how much you love him/her, miss him/her or wish that things were different.
  6. Say anything else that you may feel you need to say.
  7. Tell your ex what you want: Maybe you'd like to build your friendship, get back together or move on without him/her. 
  8. Put it in your exes hands: Let him/her know that you want him/her happy and that although you've expressed what you want you want their happiness more and you want them to do what will make them most happy.
  9. Throw in a love/relationship quote if you can: Something like 'you never know how good something is until it's gone', 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' or 'the hardest thing to do is watch the one you love love someone else' should be good enough. Make sure the saying or quote you chose is appropriate and applicable to your current relationship, your feelings or the current situation. (For relationship and love quotes read here...)
  10. Say Goodbye: Let your ex know that whoever ends up with him/her would be very lucky, that he/she will forever have a place in your heart or that you'll always have a soft spot for him or her.
The important part is not how you structure your letter but what you say in it and how honest you are. Your ex will be able to sense your sincerity.

Keep checking for an upload of an example 'Letter to your ex'.

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