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My ex says she's pregnant, what do I do? How do I deal with a pregnant ex girlfriend? My ex girlfriend is pregnant with my baby, what now? How do I know if my ex is pregnant with my child?
A lot can flood your mind when hearing something or finding out something along these lines. You may be concerned that your ex won't involve you in your child's life, is hiding the pregnancy from you to be spiteful or broke up with you in order to end the pregnancy.
The following post will help you analyse the situation better and provide insight on what to do moving forward.
Who told you?
The first clue in figuring pout the situation or deciding on what to do about it is to think about who told you.
Did you hear about it through someone else - a friend of yours or hers, gossip, etc or did you hear about it straight from her.
If you heard about it through a third party you may need to consider the fact that it could just be a rumour, or gossip. Not everything that people say is true or even has an element of truth in it. Sometimes people think what they know is true, know it's a lie but are just bored or are just going out of their way to hurt other people.
If you heard it from her she could either be telling you truth or she could be trying to deceive you. Hurt from a break-up can be detrimental to some people. Some don't know how to handle the pain or anger the ending of a relationship can bring and might resort to the most extreme measures to try and hurt you, get you to take them back or try and make you change you mind about them. Either way, just because she says that she's pregnant and/ or that she's carrying your child doesn't necessary make it true. It is a bit more believable then coming from a complete stranger in the form of a rumour though.
Is it true?
If you wanna find out whether she's carrying your baby or just pregnant all together, the best thing to do would be to get asking.
Ask her
One of the simplest ways of finding out whether or not she is in fact pregnant or carrying your baby is to ask her. As addressed earlier, this does not always mean that she will be truthful but it might help clarify things a little. If you know her well enough you should be able to tell or at least have a vague idea of when she's lying to you. Look into her eyes and try and decipher the truth in her response.
Like I said, It doesn't always mean she'll be truthful but it would be a step up in asking her if you heard about it through a rumour. As I explained earlier, her words are of more value then that of rumour's and gossip.
Ask those close to her
By asking those around her, this might be a better idea or a step up from asking her. Those around her MIGHT be less likely to lie to you if she is. I emphasise MIGHT because it ultimately depends on the situation and relationship between her and the other person. If, for example, she is really close to her mom and her mom is on her side, her mom will back her up no matter what and is likely to lie to you if her daughter asks her too. Speaking to someone like a close friend might result in the same thing. You need to then think carefully about who you ask,. Go for someone close to her but someone that you feel you may be able to trust with regards to honesty and truth. If you could find someone mutual that might work way better.
What do you do next?
If you find out that she is pregnant the next step would be finding out if the baby is toys if that is a possibility and if you are concerned about it.
The previously mentioned ways of finding out are a little step but for the most accurate and in detailed information, you will need to gave a paternity test done. This can be costly but if you are able to go through the public court or medical system it should not be a major cost. try and find someone to help you with this.
Once you know for sure that she is pregnant and that the baby is yours, you will need to address the following.
1. Do you want to be part of the baby's life?
If you want to be a part of your child's life you will need to make it your mission to be there. Make this your number one priority. it is important to take responsibility for your actions and if you are willing to do this, that is awesome.
If you do not want to be part of your child's life or are not sure that you are ready or should be, think about it clearly. Choosing to illuminate yourself from your child's life is a big decision, It is something that you and your child will always know, He or she will always know that you walked away from them as a father. At the same time, don't jump into saying you want to be there for your child if you are uncertain or don't think that you can be there for the long haul. there can be nothing worse for any child than a father who is only there temporarily or on a part time basis or one which disappears after a period of time. Children are not toys. You're either in their lives or you're not. It would be highly selfish of you to confuse the child due to your indecisiveness. it would be better that you are not there at all then disappear after a short period.
2. Does your ex want you to be part of the babies life?
Once you've made your decision, you will need to assess whether or not your ex wants you to be in the child's life. if she told you about the pregnancy and you being the dad then chances are she did it to try and get you in the babies life. This is perfect if you really want to be. This would mean that you shouldn't have any problems being their for your child and having any access to him or her.\
Idf she tried to hide the pregnancy or the fact that it is your baby from you, it is likely that she doesn't want you to have any opart of the child's life. This is great for you if you aren't ready for a chilkd in any case but a big problem if you'd like to be involved in your child's life.
3. Can you contribute positively to the babes life?
If you have nothing positive to contribute to your babes life (not only financially but as a role model and father figure and a permanent dad) then don't bother trying to be there. As I mentioned earlier, there is nothing worse then starting off there and then disappearing. Rather font be there at all.
If you would like to make an effort then go away. you don't have to have all the money in the world, but help out where you can, do what you can do and most of all be a fatherly figure to your child. Spend time with him or her and help out as much as you possibly can whether it's by cleaning up, baby sitting, changing diapers, etc. If you don't have money (and even if you do) help out in other ways.
4. Make contact with a legsl representative for assistance in getting a test pr having a part in your child's life.
If your ex won't allow you access toy your child and you feel that you deserve to have the opportunity to be a part of your babes life, find a lawyer or attorney that can help you with that. lawyers and attorneys can be pricey but there should be some affordable (or free) ones in government family courts and welfare systems. Get help. It is better that your child know that you fought and tried your best to be a part of their life then that you just walked away from them completely - no matter what happens.
Relationships and break-ups can be extremely hard; when a child or baby is involved, this becomes even harder. Think clearly and remember, the decisions you make could impact another life.
A lot can flood your mind when hearing something or finding out something along these lines. You may be concerned that your ex won't involve you in your child's life, is hiding the pregnancy from you to be spiteful or broke up with you in order to end the pregnancy.
The following post will help you analyse the situation better and provide insight on what to do moving forward.
Who told you?
The first clue in figuring pout the situation or deciding on what to do about it is to think about who told you.
Did you hear about it through someone else - a friend of yours or hers, gossip, etc or did you hear about it straight from her.
If you heard about it through a third party you may need to consider the fact that it could just be a rumour, or gossip. Not everything that people say is true or even has an element of truth in it. Sometimes people think what they know is true, know it's a lie but are just bored or are just going out of their way to hurt other people.
If you heard it from her she could either be telling you truth or she could be trying to deceive you. Hurt from a break-up can be detrimental to some people. Some don't know how to handle the pain or anger the ending of a relationship can bring and might resort to the most extreme measures to try and hurt you, get you to take them back or try and make you change you mind about them. Either way, just because she says that she's pregnant and/ or that she's carrying your child doesn't necessary make it true. It is a bit more believable then coming from a complete stranger in the form of a rumour though.
Is it true?
If you wanna find out whether she's carrying your baby or just pregnant all together, the best thing to do would be to get asking.
Ask her
One of the simplest ways of finding out whether or not she is in fact pregnant or carrying your baby is to ask her. As addressed earlier, this does not always mean that she will be truthful but it might help clarify things a little. If you know her well enough you should be able to tell or at least have a vague idea of when she's lying to you. Look into her eyes and try and decipher the truth in her response.
Like I said, It doesn't always mean she'll be truthful but it would be a step up in asking her if you heard about it through a rumour. As I explained earlier, her words are of more value then that of rumour's and gossip.
Ask those close to her
By asking those around her, this might be a better idea or a step up from asking her. Those around her MIGHT be less likely to lie to you if she is. I emphasise MIGHT because it ultimately depends on the situation and relationship between her and the other person. If, for example, she is really close to her mom and her mom is on her side, her mom will back her up no matter what and is likely to lie to you if her daughter asks her too. Speaking to someone like a close friend might result in the same thing. You need to then think carefully about who you ask,. Go for someone close to her but someone that you feel you may be able to trust with regards to honesty and truth. If you could find someone mutual that might work way better.
What do you do next?
If you find out that she is pregnant the next step would be finding out if the baby is toys if that is a possibility and if you are concerned about it.
The previously mentioned ways of finding out are a little step but for the most accurate and in detailed information, you will need to gave a paternity test done. This can be costly but if you are able to go through the public court or medical system it should not be a major cost. try and find someone to help you with this.
Once you know for sure that she is pregnant and that the baby is yours, you will need to address the following.
1. Do you want to be part of the baby's life?
If you want to be a part of your child's life you will need to make it your mission to be there. Make this your number one priority. it is important to take responsibility for your actions and if you are willing to do this, that is awesome.
If you do not want to be part of your child's life or are not sure that you are ready or should be, think about it clearly. Choosing to illuminate yourself from your child's life is a big decision, It is something that you and your child will always know, He or she will always know that you walked away from them as a father. At the same time, don't jump into saying you want to be there for your child if you are uncertain or don't think that you can be there for the long haul. there can be nothing worse for any child than a father who is only there temporarily or on a part time basis or one which disappears after a period of time. Children are not toys. You're either in their lives or you're not. It would be highly selfish of you to confuse the child due to your indecisiveness. it would be better that you are not there at all then disappear after a short period.
2. Does your ex want you to be part of the babies life?
Once you've made your decision, you will need to assess whether or not your ex wants you to be in the child's life. if she told you about the pregnancy and you being the dad then chances are she did it to try and get you in the babies life. This is perfect if you really want to be. This would mean that you shouldn't have any problems being their for your child and having any access to him or her.\
Idf she tried to hide the pregnancy or the fact that it is your baby from you, it is likely that she doesn't want you to have any opart of the child's life. This is great for you if you aren't ready for a chilkd in any case but a big problem if you'd like to be involved in your child's life.
If you have nothing positive to contribute to your babes life (not only financially but as a role model and father figure and a permanent dad) then don't bother trying to be there. As I mentioned earlier, there is nothing worse then starting off there and then disappearing. Rather font be there at all.
If you would like to make an effort then go away. you don't have to have all the money in the world, but help out where you can, do what you can do and most of all be a fatherly figure to your child. Spend time with him or her and help out as much as you possibly can whether it's by cleaning up, baby sitting, changing diapers, etc. If you don't have money (and even if you do) help out in other ways.
4. Make contact with a legsl representative for assistance in getting a test pr having a part in your child's life.
If your ex won't allow you access toy your child and you feel that you deserve to have the opportunity to be a part of your babes life, find a lawyer or attorney that can help you with that. lawyers and attorneys can be pricey but there should be some affordable (or free) ones in government family courts and welfare systems. Get help. It is better that your child know that you fought and tried your best to be a part of their life then that you just walked away from them completely - no matter what happens.
Relationships and break-ups can be extremely hard; when a child or baby is involved, this becomes even harder. Think clearly and remember, the decisions you make could impact another life.
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