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Saturday, June 13, 2015

Is there a difference between someone having cheated and having an affair?

Is cheating and having an affair the same thing? Is there a difference? Is one better than the other?

Both scenarios are completely wrong and should not be happening but there is a slight difference in circumstances between the two:

Having cheated -
Making a 'mistake' and getting drunk and sleeping with or kissing someone else ONCE is often described as someone having cheated.

Having an affair -
An ongoing relationship with someone else or sleeping with numerous other people or having numerous 'one night stands' is often described as 'was cheating' or 'having an affair'.

An affair is worse if it's with one particular person because it's like a complete relationship where feelings and emotions are likely to be present either from both or at least one individual.

Someone may have affairs with numerous other people - ongoing relationships with more than one person.

 The first (having cheated) has more potential to be justified as a "mistake" or "accident" and has a slightly better chance of never occurring again. It can still be said that if someone falls victim to temptation even if it is just once; they have the potential to do it again.

The second (having an affair or numerous affairs) is more of a major problem.

If someone can have an ongoing affair or be with other people more than once or in an ongoing manner then this is a major concern:

 - They have no conscience as they can be with other people and come home to you without thinking about it twice.
- They are major liars as they have the ability to lead a double life without you noticing. If they could lie about this how could you ever trust them about anything else never mind fidelity?
- They have no consideration for your health and are willing to put you at risk by being with other people.

There is a lot more to consider beside whether or not he / she "cheated" or had an "affair":

- Was it thought out?
Sometimes cheating is more spontaneous - he or she was drunk and one thing led to another... versus planned cheating or an affair where a meet up is planned, you are provided with a lie about where he or she is or what he or she is going, etc

- Was it just physical?
Although they're both wrong, plain physical intimacy is sometimes on a more surface level and somewhat more meaningless that an emotional connection where the relationship wasn't just based on sleeping around - did they go on dates? did they keep in contact (chat, Skye, phone calls etc) when they weren't together? did they say 'I love you' or call each other 'love names'?

- Has it happened before?
If it happened before or came close to happening before then you can definitely be sure that things will never change.

Sometimes you may feel like you want to give your partner 'one last chance', believe that he / she will change or trust that it won't happen again. Sometimes you feel like you just need to give it one more shot because at least then if it doesn't work out you can say you tried.
That's okay. Sometimes it's what you need for closure despite the fact that you may be putting yourself and your heart at further risk. If you really feel like you need to give your partner one last chance then go ahead BUT be more vigilant, keep your eyes open and be more observant and if you can clearly see that your partner hasn't changed or if the same thing happens again THEN MOVE ON and don't look back. NO THIRD, FOURTH or FIFTH chances, One is enough to be certain that things will never change and you need to move on with your life for your own good.

Cheating and infidelity are not only bad for your heart, your self-esteem, your dignity and your trust in people but it can also be detrimental to your health opening you up to numerous diseases - this is made worse if you are nursing as your baby will also be open to contracting these diseases.
Please do take this into consideration.

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My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online

My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online
Shaylee has a secret she's been hiding from everyone... Beneath her brave exterior lies a girl bruised and scarred by life but strong enough to make it through anything. Moral of the story: Sometimes we don't find love because we don't know what to look for.