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Should I let my child's father / dad visit him / her? - Visitation after separation / divorce

Should I let my child's 'deadbeat dad' visit him / her? Should I allow my child's deadbeat dad access to him / her? My child's father is never available but wants to visit when it suites him / her; what should I do?

Visitation is a touchy subject. The best way to ensure that everything is regulated and as monitored as possible is by getting a court order as soon as possible. A court order will be approved by a family advocate and ordered by a court / judge. this will be something that all parties including you and your child's fathers need to obey and stick to. It will stipulate how often your child's father can see him / her, for how long and at which location.


it is important to know that you are not allowed to withhold contact from your child's father UNLESS you have a order from the court stating that this would be in the child's best interest. If you withhold your child from his / her father it could reflect negatively on you and depending on your country / state it may even be a criminal offence. Get approval from the court for everything you do - a court order is our best defence.

If you feel that having his / her father around would definitely not be good for your child, if you can demonstrate that to the court the advocate will agree with you as they fight for the child's right, it will be documented in a court order and your child's father will be kept at bay legally for the child's best interests to be upheld.

No matter how long your child's father stays away for, if you don't have a supporting document (court order), when he reappears and asks to see your child, you cant withhold him / her without good reason. You can have the court alter a visitation order to reduce your child's fathers visits if he isn't making use of them, however.

Be sure to record all visits and contributions made by the child's father. it's always best to record everything as this could help you in the future. Even if you don't need it for court, it may answer some of your child's questions one day when he / she is old enough to understand.
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