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Friday, March 17, 2017

How do I show him / her that I can be trusted? How do you show your partner that you can be trusted?

How do you show someone that they can trust you? How can I make my partner know that I am loyal to him or her? How can I prove that I am trustworthy?

Trusting and being trustworthy is a very important part of any relationship. Without trust, your relationship has a minimal chance of survival. This doesn’t only mean being able to trust your partner, but being a trustworthy person to your partner.

When it comes to demonstrating your loyalties to your partner or feeling like he / she can't fully see it, there are a few things to think about or make sure of first:

·         What makes you think your partner doesn't trust you personally?
Has he/ she said something along the lines of not trusting you?
Are you assuming this based on something else?

·         There is a possibility that he/she may trust you fully but my know based on past experience that people’s feelings change and thus has concerns when it comes to what the future may hold.
Regardless, the only way to reassure someone of your loyalties is time and actions. Unfortunately actions will always speak louder than words.
Saying you love your partner but making her feel like she comes off second best, you’re ashamed of her or her opinion doesn’t count, for example, contradicts what you’re saying and actions are to be trusted more than words.
This doesn’t mean words are null and void though. If you’re reassuring your partner verbally too then that’s awesome and whether or not you may know it, he /she does note it and appreciate it and it does count for something. Even though your actions speak volumes more, your words calm her heart or make him feel miles better too.
That being said, words have their role to play: they’re the most important part when it comes to communication. A lack of communication has the potential to ruin or kill any relationship. Sometimes the most complicated things can be cleared up or the biggest fights avoided by adequate communication. Assumptions are a deadly problem because they can lead to misunderstandings and subsequent downward spirals.
You’d be surprised at how much smoother things would go if you and your partner just spoke to each other about everything.
Relationships are a two-way street so don’t for one second think every argument, every doubt in your partners mind or any fight is all your fault because it isn’t. Your partner has his/her role to play too but once again, the only way he/she can know and understand how you feel is if you communicate that to them.
Let your partner know how you feel about everything. Tell him / her what’s on your mind. The best relationships are usually the ones where you can talk to the other person freely. If at any random moment something pops into your mind and its making you question or doubt something or leading you to want to change some plans you may have set speak about it. Say “I’ve been thinking…” Give your partner a chance to hear your view and to give her opinion and you together can make a decision from there.
Don’t put too much thought or feelings into feeling like your partner doesn’t trust you personally because I highly doubt that is the case. If you haven’t given him / her any reason to question your loyalties or whether or not you can remain faithful, I doubt that he / she doesn’t trust you.
It’s important to remember that people come into relationships with all sorts of baggage and it is up to the other person to accept or tolerate what the other is bringing. This baggage may come in the physical form of an overbearing parent, an ex or a child for example BUT it can also be emotional baggage: insecurities, hurt, bruised self-esteem, etc.
This is never a reflection of who you are as a person but what the past and circumstances have left on your partner.

The same way you can accept, tolerate or even love your partners physical baggage, that is the same way you need to treat the emotional baggage.

The important thing is to not give up and to be patient with the other person. Keep on reassuring. Keep on being faithful. Keep on talking.

I remember being extremely doubtful due to past relationship experiences (being cheated on and lied to) so I would question and check everything. I was so terrified of being naive again. When I met my partner, I was very guarded up and paranoid. The more our relationship progressed and i validated everything he told me from the smallest little thing to bigger things (checking things up doing my own PI investigations), the more I trusted him and the more I believed him - the more I let my guard down. That's not to say that it is all awesome and good and well. It probably never is - one lie can undo all the trust I have in him. 

The point here is that trust is an ongoing process. it takes time to build trust but it is also a constant thing that needs to be worked on and protected and one case of being "untrustworthy" can undo all the hard work you've pout into being a trustworthy partner.
Good luck!
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