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Is social Media good or bad? How will social media affect my relationship? Does social media affect or damage relationships? Can social media course a break-up?
Social media can affect your relationship in many different ways: some good and some bad. There are many ways in which social media can affect and damage your relationship. This article will look at the effect of social media on your relationship and why it may be a good idea to limit or eliminate social media all together.
Social Media could be any form of online presence. Some examples of social media include Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc.
Some would also consider Whatsapp, Youtube and Linkedin to be forms of social media but this is not entirely the case and rather dependant on on how you utilize these.
Whatsapp for example, will not be referred to as social media within the context of this article as it's mainly a messaging platform used in the same way as you would use instant messaging chat or Google Hangouts. It is important to note though that certain features of Google Hangouts and WhatsApp such as the profile pic or updating statuses or pictures would count as social media in the context of this article and are therefore also considered social media.
LinkedIn will not be focused on in this article as it is mainly used for job networking.
There are a few pros to social media but the Cons do appear to outweigh these pros. We will briefly look at some of the pros in this article regardless.
By increased transparency what I mean is that if you have a social media profile and your partner has a social media profile you can easily make sure that other people he or she may come in contact with are aware of your relationship.
I will use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for an example: with all of these sites you are able to upload pictures or images of your relationship. This goes for most Social networking or social media sites. By your partner uploading pictures posts or statuses clearly making known the fact that he or she is in a relationship and that he or she is in a relationship with you, this could be viewed as potentially warning other interested parties who may not be aware of this.
More obviously, Facebook also allows you to Note or to share whether you're in a relationship, engaged, single or married. This too can be seen as a supporting Factor highlighting and informing others that you are in a relationship and somewhat off-limits.
Now even with that said, this is not guaranteed to have any positive impact on your relationship as all people do not respect relationships so whether or not your partner or you have made it clear that you are in fact in a relationship this does not in any way guarantee that people won't still be trying to interfere with your relationship, come between you or get with you or your partner.
Many people have used Social media to determine whether or not their partners have in fact been cheating or messing around. I unfortunately am one of those people. I had the experience of finding out that my husband at the time was cheating on me via Facebook. With the help of the "people you might know" suggestion which showed me the profile of my husband's mistress as a suggested friend quickly making me aware of her profile picture which featured my husband. This as well as my husband's Facebook page being unlocked and me being able to access his Facebook messages revealing all of his intimate messages with this woman regarding what they had done all led me to discover my husband's infidelity.
There are many motivational or encouraging posts that you may find on social media to lift your spirits or encourage you to live a better life. You might also follow or see other people and the successes in their lives or their happy relationships and look at this as an inspiration for you on how to live your life. You may also be able to learn from people's past experiences and what they've gone through and use this to help you overcome obstacles in your life.
There are numerous cons to the use of social media especially when it comes to your relationship. I will list the three biggest negatives when it comes to social media because I feel that these might be more stronger or more of a danger to relationships. There are many others.
Social media can affect your relationship in many different ways: some good and some bad. There are many ways in which social media can affect and damage your relationship. This article will look at the effect of social media on your relationship and why it may be a good idea to limit or eliminate social media all together.
What is Social Media?
Whatsapp for example, will not be referred to as social media within the context of this article as it's mainly a messaging platform used in the same way as you would use instant messaging chat or Google Hangouts. It is important to note though that certain features of Google Hangouts and WhatsApp such as the profile pic or updating statuses or pictures would count as social media in the context of this article and are therefore also considered social media.
LinkedIn will not be focused on in this article as it is mainly used for job networking.
What are some pros of social media?
1. Social media makes your relationship public
I will use Facebook, Twitter and Instagram for an example: with all of these sites you are able to upload pictures or images of your relationship. This goes for most Social networking or social media sites. By your partner uploading pictures posts or statuses clearly making known the fact that he or she is in a relationship and that he or she is in a relationship with you, this could be viewed as potentially warning other interested parties who may not be aware of this.
More obviously, Facebook also allows you to Note or to share whether you're in a relationship, engaged, single or married. This too can be seen as a supporting Factor highlighting and informing others that you are in a relationship and somewhat off-limits.
Now even with that said, this is not guaranteed to have any positive impact on your relationship as all people do not respect relationships so whether or not your partner or you have made it clear that you are in fact in a relationship this does not in any way guarantee that people won't still be trying to interfere with your relationship, come between you or get with you or your partner.
2. Social Media can help you Investigate your partner
Many people have used Social media to determine whether or not their partners have in fact been cheating or messing around. I unfortunately am one of those people. I had the experience of finding out that my husband at the time was cheating on me via Facebook. With the help of the "people you might know" suggestion which showed me the profile of my husband's mistress as a suggested friend quickly making me aware of her profile picture which featured my husband. This as well as my husband's Facebook page being unlocked and me being able to access his Facebook messages revealing all of his intimate messages with this woman regarding what they had done all led me to discover my husband's infidelity.
3. Social Media can motivate you
What are some cons of social media?
There are various cons to social media with regards to your life in general but I will make another article to cover that.
The way you post or what you post on social media when it comes to your relationship is bound to paint your relationship in a certain light to all onlookers.
Whether it comes across as being all good and perfect or as an emotional roller coaster all depends on how you say things on your social media profiles.
People often display their relationships in the following ways:
These are just a few ways that you can show your relationship to the rest of the world in a negative light. Just as concerning is the fact that you are also bringing your partner across in a certain way. When you post something related to your relationship especially if you are trying to gain sympathy from your friends or followers, ( a post such as feeling all alone even when you're in a relationship or one stating that sometimes you just need to be appreciated by someone, etc) when someone knows that you're in a relationship this makes it obvious that you are referring to your partner.
Don't ever post negative things about your partner if you are not posting the good side as well. Please note however, that even if you are posting the good side it still doesn't subtract from the negative stuff that you are posting about your partner. This will result in people looking at your partner negatively and viewing him or her in a negative light. If you really do care about your partner I doubt that you will want people discussing or talking about him or her behind his or her back.
Passing off a relationship as flawless also has its negatives. Some couples will post selfies about how in love they are or share pictures about dates commenting how perfect their partner is or how perfect that relationship is when in fact it isn't all that Rosie. Yes, they may have good times and maybe they focus on only sharing the good times but the truth is every relationship has ups and downs. Fights or arguments are part of being different individuals. The problem is that if you have portrayed your relationship as being perfect and flawless and then things don't work out and at the end of the day you end up breaking or separating everyone is left thinking "what just happened? They were supposedly so perfect!"
This is just another demonstration on how social media can actually impact your relationships negatively in the real world.
According to McKinley Irvin Family Law:
Many people find people to cheat with via social media where as others use social media as a way to correspond with their side partners.
The effect of social media and its link to infidelity is pretty obvious and so I will not focus much on this here.
Social media may contribute towards fights and arguments for numerous reasons or in many different ways.
A final point that I will highlight here is the effect of other peoples relationship portrayals on yours.
Please note that this is by no means all the cons listed in this article and there are probably a lot more. I have just highlighted a few that I feel stand out most to me. I would like it very much if you could comment with other cons or pros that you feel are related to relationships when it comes to social media below my my post.
As mentioned earlier with regards to social media pro's, we often see positive images or those of happy couples. Some may only share positive images with regard to their relationships while others may focus on negative images with regards to their partners and the way they portray him or her.
On the flip side of this, merely looking at those post of other people and their relationships whether positive or negative may negatively impact your relationship.
1. Social Media portrays your relationship in a certain way
Whether it comes across as being all good and perfect or as an emotional roller coaster all depends on how you say things on your social media profiles.
People often display their relationships in the following ways:
- Some demonstrate the bad side of their relationship and share all of their flaws as well as their baggage on social media.
- Some openly fight or argue on social media
- Some share information regarding their fights or arguments on their status or on the walls of their partners on social media.
- Many people share statuses and tag their partner in or share a status that is so obviously targeted at their partner
- Other people make use of the status feature on Facebook for example constantly changing it from in relationship to It's Complicated to in a relationship to single to in a relationship again making their relationship look completely an unstable.
These are just a few ways that you can show your relationship to the rest of the world in a negative light. Just as concerning is the fact that you are also bringing your partner across in a certain way. When you post something related to your relationship especially if you are trying to gain sympathy from your friends or followers, ( a post such as feeling all alone even when you're in a relationship or one stating that sometimes you just need to be appreciated by someone, etc) when someone knows that you're in a relationship this makes it obvious that you are referring to your partner.
Passing off a relationship as flawless also has its negatives. Some couples will post selfies about how in love they are or share pictures about dates commenting how perfect their partner is or how perfect that relationship is when in fact it isn't all that Rosie. Yes, they may have good times and maybe they focus on only sharing the good times but the truth is every relationship has ups and downs. Fights or arguments are part of being different individuals. The problem is that if you have portrayed your relationship as being perfect and flawless and then things don't work out and at the end of the day you end up breaking or separating everyone is left thinking "what just happened? They were supposedly so perfect!"
This is just another demonstration on how social media can actually impact your relationships negatively in the real world.
2. Social Media helps Infidelity: Social Media and Affairs Statistics
"One in ten adults admits to hiding messages and posts from their significant other. Eight percent of adults in relationships admit to having secret accounts. And one in three divorces now start as online affairs."
Many people find people to cheat with via social media where as others use social media as a way to correspond with their side partners.
The effect of social media and its link to infidelity is pretty obvious and so I will not focus much on this here.
3. Social media contributes towards Arguments and Disagreements
- Some of these fights are due to your partner not wanting to share their log in information with you which results in feelings of resentment as well as insecurity because you may feel like your partner is hiding something these feelings may be justified. I too would feel that if my partner didn't have anything to hide he or she wouldn't be reluctant to share that information with me. Your partner, however may in fact not have anything to hide but may just feel that they need a certain level of privacy.
- Social media profiles often result in fights surrounding other people liking or commenting on your partners posts or pictures on Instagram, Facebook or Twitter . Although your partner may not have full control on who comments or likes him or her status is all pictures he or she may have a certain amount of Control in this regard in that he or she could let the person who commented inappropriately on his or her picture know that their behavior was inappropriate and is unacceptable or that they are in a relationship.
- Another reason for fights and arguments with regard to social media may be due to the people who are added as friends direct messaging your partner. You may feel that your partner shouldn't be interacting with people of the opposite sex via social media or direct message. Your partner on the other hand may feel that and there is nothing wrong with this and that it is just chatting or just part of socializing.
- A disagreement with your partner with regard to certain people who he or she chooses to remain in contact with on social media or even to maintain as a friend on social media sites is quite common. Often these people include past flings, exes, flirtatious people etc. Your partner may see nothing wrong with this and consider it merely as being sociable. You on the other hand may feel that this is inappropriate and not necessary or needed in your relationship.
4. Social media affects the way you view other peoples relationships
Please note that this is by no means all the cons listed in this article and there are probably a lot more. I have just highlighted a few that I feel stand out most to me. I would like it very much if you could comment with other cons or pros that you feel are related to relationships when it comes to social media below my my post.
As mentioned earlier with regards to social media pro's, we often see positive images or those of happy couples. Some may only share positive images with regard to their relationships while others may focus on negative images with regards to their partners and the way they portray him or her.
On the flip side of this, merely looking at those post of other people and their relationships whether positive or negative may negatively impact your relationship.
- If you look at another person's relationship and only see the happy or the good side you may start to doubt your relationship because you have the occasional fight or the occasional argument not knowing that those people also have fights or arguments or may even have more fights or arguments but they just choose not to share that side of their relationship on social media.
This may negatively impact your relationship and you may start doubting your relationship or seeing more of the flaws in your relationship and your partner. - Looking at posts where someone may be bragging about how wonderfully their partner treats them might make you pick up the flaws in your partner even though there may be other positives in your partner that that other person doesn't have in their partner.
- Having a look at negative relationship posts or someone who is treated poorly in a relationship may feed that energy into your relationship - what we focus on we attract.
Why it is best to limit or eliminate social media
As you can see from this article; social media can have a tremendous effect on your relationship. Relationships are solely hard work and take a lot of dedication, trust and commitment. There are many other stresses on a relationships such as past experiences or emotional baggage, financial strains, in-laws or those who are not in favor of your relationship etc - why would you still want to add social media related issues to this mix?
If at all possible, I would suggest that you try and eliminate social media for the sake of your relationship. If this is not possible (maybe for work or business reasons) then try and limit it as far as possible or look at some of the cons listed above and try and find viable solutions or work around for them.
I hope that this article proved to be of help to you.
Please do comment below with any questions or suggestions.
If at all possible, I would suggest that you try and eliminate social media for the sake of your relationship. If this is not possible (maybe for work or business reasons) then try and limit it as far as possible or look at some of the cons listed above and try and find viable solutions or work around for them.
I hope that this article proved to be of help to you.
Please do comment below with any questions or suggestions.
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