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If you have made the decision to study or carry on studying while being a mom - CONGRATULATIONS to you! You have made the ultimate decision to better your life as well as that of your child / family.
The fact that making the decision to better yourself and further your education is a good one for obvious reasons, doesn't take away from the fact that it can be extremely hard. When you are a full time student you are able to dedicate all your time and attention to your studies (before having a child or starting a family and if fortunate enough. without working). But while studying correspondence or making use of distance education while having a family and maintaining a full time job, things can get very hard and stressful.
Stressful or hard does not mean IMPOSSIBLE though!
This article contains a few tips and suggestions to make your studying experience a bit easier and allow you to balance studying with work, family and any other commitments or responsibilities you may have.
As a working mom your priories should include:
Here is an example:
As a mom and wife, for example, I want to make sure to maintain my relationship with my husband and my son to the best of my ability. I am the one who has chosen to study so I should be the one making sacrifices and not my child or my spouse. They should not suffer in any way.
My spouse may be a little easier to handle as he is obviously an adult and knows and understands my situation and the fact that I am studying. He would be a little more understanding or patient. My son on the other hand is 5 years old and the last thing I would want is for him to grow up feeling like I never had any time for him or I always had something better to do.
That being said, I need to make sure that I make an effort to spend quality time with him even if it means that I sleep extra late due to the fact that I only manage to start my study time after putting him to bed.
For both my husband and my son I also need to make sure that I am not only at least giving them the time allocated in my time plan but padding the rest of the day with additional little demonstrations of love and affection.
The same would go for my other priorities. I would need to decide how I am going to implement the plan and how to better it.
See below for an example:
Yes you will be spending time with them doing mundane tasks like Homework for example but be sure to make sure that you are positive and happy when doing it. You don't want the only time you ever spend time with your child to be when you are yelling at him or her to do their homework or lecturing him or her on their untidy handwriting. Look for positive aspects to it, make it fun, engage with your child and make sure to find reasons to tell him or her how proud of them you are or how smart they are.
Spend time doing things that they enjoy as well. My son loves playing with his trucks and dinosaurs especially outside. Although my ideal way of spending the afternoon may not be getting dirty in the sand and dirt outside, it is something my son enjoys so I make sure that I do it. I know that he will be more likely to remember and cherish the time I spent with him doing something he enjoyed. I want him to say "I remember how much fun mom and I had outside with my cars and trucks" and not "the only time mom ever spent with me was doing my homework".
I also spend some time with my son watching a movie BUT the scene does not involve only him watching a movie and me sitting next to him distracted, doing my own thing or busy on my phone the whole time. I am actively engaged with him - commenting on whats happening in the movie, making exaggerated reactions to fights, falls etc in the movie and cuddling with him as he lays in my lap or with his feet up on my lap.
This is extremely important if you want this to fall part of your quality time.
With my husband, It becomes a little tougher to get some extra quality time in but it can be made easier. It is all about putting in the effort.
I make sure that I cuddle with my husband once I get into bed even if it is at 1am or 2am.
I am always sure to hold my husbands hand whether walking through the mall or on the drive to work / home.
I send him random messages during the course of the day or leave him random love notes.
With regard to both your spouse and child the important part is to make sure that they feel loved and know that you love them. Throughout the day be sure to tell them that you love them or give them random hugs or kisses. This will remind them that you still care and love them.
If housekeeping is a priority for you as it is with me, keep your house keeping up to scratch so that you don't have tons to do at one time. If you clean regularly or as you go you will have less to do and you can easily spend 15 to 30 minutes just tidying up before studying instead of spending hours doing a full in-depth clean up.
Good Luck & God Bless!
You may want to read:
The fact that making the decision to better yourself and further your education is a good one for obvious reasons, doesn't take away from the fact that it can be extremely hard. When you are a full time student you are able to dedicate all your time and attention to your studies (before having a child or starting a family and if fortunate enough. without working). But while studying correspondence or making use of distance education while having a family and maintaining a full time job, things can get very hard and stressful.
This article contains a few tips and suggestions to make your studying experience a bit easier and allow you to balance studying with work, family and any other commitments or responsibilities you may have.
1. Prioritize
List your priorities including your studies and allocate and make note of time for each.As a working mom your priories should include:
- your child or children,
- work
- house keeping or maintaining your household
- your significant other if you have one
2. Time Allocation
Once you know your priorities you need to allocate time to each one. You don't need to split your day perfectly or divide all the hours or seconds within it. That would be a little extreme BUT you do need to have an idea when it comes to how much time you would like to give to each priority whether this be per day or per week.Here is an example:
3. Formulate a plan
As you can see, the hours may be very little because the rest of your day will be taken up by work, sleep, bathing etc.As a mom and wife, for example, I want to make sure to maintain my relationship with my husband and my son to the best of my ability. I am the one who has chosen to study so I should be the one making sacrifices and not my child or my spouse. They should not suffer in any way.
My spouse may be a little easier to handle as he is obviously an adult and knows and understands my situation and the fact that I am studying. He would be a little more understanding or patient. My son on the other hand is 5 years old and the last thing I would want is for him to grow up feeling like I never had any time for him or I always had something better to do.
That being said, I need to make sure that I make an effort to spend quality time with him even if it means that I sleep extra late due to the fact that I only manage to start my study time after putting him to bed.
For both my husband and my son I also need to make sure that I am not only at least giving them the time allocated in my time plan but padding the rest of the day with additional little demonstrations of love and affection.
The same would go for my other priorities. I would need to decide how I am going to implement the plan and how to better it.
See below for an example:
4. Execute your plan
When it comes to your children, make sure to spend time doing something they enjoy more often then not.Yes you will be spending time with them doing mundane tasks like Homework for example but be sure to make sure that you are positive and happy when doing it. You don't want the only time you ever spend time with your child to be when you are yelling at him or her to do their homework or lecturing him or her on their untidy handwriting. Look for positive aspects to it, make it fun, engage with your child and make sure to find reasons to tell him or her how proud of them you are or how smart they are.
Spend time doing things that they enjoy as well. My son loves playing with his trucks and dinosaurs especially outside. Although my ideal way of spending the afternoon may not be getting dirty in the sand and dirt outside, it is something my son enjoys so I make sure that I do it. I know that he will be more likely to remember and cherish the time I spent with him doing something he enjoyed. I want him to say "I remember how much fun mom and I had outside with my cars and trucks" and not "the only time mom ever spent with me was doing my homework".I also spend some time with my son watching a movie BUT the scene does not involve only him watching a movie and me sitting next to him distracted, doing my own thing or busy on my phone the whole time. I am actively engaged with him - commenting on whats happening in the movie, making exaggerated reactions to fights, falls etc in the movie and cuddling with him as he lays in my lap or with his feet up on my lap.
This is extremely important if you want this to fall part of your quality time.
With my husband, It becomes a little tougher to get some extra quality time in but it can be made easier. It is all about putting in the effort.
I make sure that I cuddle with my husband once I get into bed even if it is at 1am or 2am.
Remember to make sure that the intimacy does not die - always keep it alive whether its waking him up for some late night action at midnight after a study session or first thing in the morning before work.Be sure to let your spouse know that you are still there and are still 100% committed to the relationship. Make sure that they know that you love them very much.
I am always sure to hold my husbands hand whether walking through the mall or on the drive to work / home.
I send him random messages during the course of the day or leave him random love notes.
With regard to both your spouse and child the important part is to make sure that they feel loved and know that you love them. Throughout the day be sure to tell them that you love them or give them random hugs or kisses. This will remind them that you still care and love them.
If housekeeping is a priority for you as it is with me, keep your house keeping up to scratch so that you don't have tons to do at one time. If you clean regularly or as you go you will have less to do and you can easily spend 15 to 30 minutes just tidying up before studying instead of spending hours doing a full in-depth clean up.
5. Stay motivated.
It may seem challenging and hard but you need to stay motivated. Remember why you are doing this and focus on that. Remain positive and know that if you keep going you will soon graduate and it will all be worth it.Make your family proud :)
Good Luck & God Bless!
You may want to read:
- Finishing School / Studying as a single mom
- How to balance studying and being a single mom: Studying as a single mother - Tips & Advice
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