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Wednesday, October 31, 2012

6 Ways to Deal with a Grieving Partner: How to help your partner through the loss of a loved one

How do I help my partner cope with a loss? How can I comfort my partner through his / her grieving process? How can I be with my partner as he/she grieves? My partners loved one passed away, how can I help him/her through it?
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Your partner could be suffering from a terrible loss. It is often hard for you to empathize, simply because you are not the one who is grieving. Afraid of saying the wrong things or making your partner’s feelings worse are the top reasons why we are reluctant to handle this situation. In reality, there are a lot of ways to provide comfort and support to your partner. Here are some ways that might help you tell your partner that you really care.

Listen with care

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
If you are afraid that you may say the wrong things and make things worse, try listening for a change. People who are grieving may need to say something about the situation and sometimes all they need is a compassionate ear to hear them. It is better to offer a sympathetic hug or a comforting pat in the back. This eases the anxiety that they are feeling. Remember that during these times, it is not necessary for you to say something.  Just be there and listen. Although you may not realize it but showing your partner that you are genuinely paying attention to whatever he says can greatly relieve him from much anxiety.

Show willingness to help

A person grieving may not be in the best position to be up to tasks. It is more difficult for him to ask for help on certain things. You can try reaching out to him by suggesting that you can do some things on his behalf. Invite him to be comfortable in asking for help. Let him know that he can always count on you to make the situation a bit normal. Your partner may be too drained and it is important that you take the initiative. You do not have to wait for him to tell you the details on how you can help.  As a partner, you should be sensitive enough to know what to do and what kind of help to offer.

Provide solid support

You may not feel grief because you are not the one who lost someone, yet you are in the best position to provide solid support. The fact that you are insulated from negative emotions gives you stability that your partner needs. Grief can last well beyond the interment and you should be able to show care for the long haul. Obviously, it is in these kinds of situations that people need emotional support from their partners. So, be there and give the best emotional support you’ve got.

Look out for bouts of depression

Depression is something that we cannot avoid especially if you are bombarded with negative feelings. As the more stable half of the relationship, it is your duty to your partner to yank him if he starts to slip off. The slightest sign of depression should be nipped at the bud before it gets worse. As a partner who truly cares, be quick enough to help him avert any early signs of depression.

Get professional help

Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Grieving can take its toll on your emotional makeup. If you feel that your partner is suffering beyond what you can handle, it is best to consult a professional to ease things up. There is nothing wrong with calling some backup when you feel that the situation is slipping out from your hands.

Don’t judge your partner

Never let the person feel that you are giving them a deadline to stop their grief. Do not make them feel as if you are judging their strength and stability through their ability to bounce back from the unfortunate incident. Allow your partner to grieve as long as they need and make them feel that it is okay to be human and feel vulnerable.

Grief can occur in a myriad of events that involves loss. It is something that is difficult to work with. Being in a relationship, your involvement is important to help your partner to see it through. Not only does it help your partner bounce back, it also strengthens the bond of your partnership.

About the Guest Author:

Ryan Rivera used to suffer from panic attacks for seven years. He now dedicates his life helping other people who are suffering from stress, anxiety and depression through his writings.  You can read more of his articles at Calm Clinic

If you'd like to guest post or contribute your story, feel free to email me at: lovelifeandrelationships@gmail.com

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