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Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Do second time around relationships work?

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush, Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens and Britney Spears and Kevin Federline all have one major thing in common; they’ve all experienced getting back together after break-ups.
True love never dies:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
These days it has become the norm to go back to failed relationships; take your ex-partner back and hope for the best. Many have done this due to different break up reasons ranging from minor fights through to infidelity. Other more major cases (and ones that should really come to an end) include recurring relationships involving abuse.
Some may believe in the saying “third time lucky” others in “If at first you don’t succeed try and try again” taking it completely literally. For many people it’s like a habit; you get so used to breaking up and making up that when you break up for the third time in a row you assume that before the end of the week you’ll be back together again. When three weeks pass and you’re not seeing any of that, that’s when you realize that things aren’t always the way they seem which may lead you to thinking of ways of getting your ex back.
For those who do get back together again, in most cases it’s just another round in the circle of making up and break up. The situation has become so common that names have even been devised to describe them: ‘Dating on and off’ or boomerang relationships.
Many people agree that when getting back together after a break up chances of lasting are very slim and the question of whether or not these relationships are actually worth it in the long run plagues the minds of many considering it.
Why Second Time Relationships Don't Always Work
Couple fighting:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The reasons for many doubting these relationships vary.
·         The problem that was there initially has high chances of reoccurring if it is not completely dealt with and solved.
A lot of people don’t fully address all issues when contemplating getting back together and may just fix everything on the surface resulting in an even shorter lived relationship and yet another break up.
·         It is extremely hard to just forget the past and move on.
In many cases one or both participants in the relationship may not find it that easy to move on in a previously damaged relationship –things that happened previously are constantly hanging over your head. The past is something you can’t just forget about and in some cases (especially those involving infidelity) it is not that easy to just put everything behind you and the problems of the past more often than not keep finding their way into the present.
·         There is also the possibility that if you could walk out so easily the first time around it might not at all be that hard to do it again the next time.
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
·         There is also the element of “the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour”.
With this in mind many would consider getting back together with a past ex to be a bad choice as they see it as only being able to end negatively. Sayings like “Relationships are like glass.  Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together..." describe the view point of a lot of people almost perfectly.
Despite this, however, many still face the situation and struggle of whether or not to do it. People from all over face this problem and a demonstration of this is the fact that so many songs have been made depicting it:  Miley Cyrus  - Full Circle , Marques Houston - Circle and Chris Brown - Crawl, to name but a few.
With the odds stacked against them then, why are so many couples still taking the chances and getting back into these relationships?
The simple answer is that love takes chances.
There’s always that little bit of hope and no matter how much you may be told that ‘if it didn’t work out the first or second time what makes you think it will work out now’ your heart us naturally going to keep telling you that there is still hope. You’re going to take the chance no matter what and will keep hoping that you’re the exception and not the rule.

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