Sunday, June 5, 2011

'Does my ex want me back' quiz

I want my ex back does he/she feel the same way? How do I know if my ex wants me back? Does my ex regret the break up?


After a break-up various questions may flood your mind. You may miss your ex but struggle to find out whether or not he/she feels the same way.

The following quiz should help you to read the signs better.


  1. Have you heard from your ex since the break-up
  2. Yes No I'm not sure I can't remember
  3. The last time you saw him/her he/she seemed
  4. Happy to see me Distant Awkward I haven't seen my ex since the break-up
  5. Does he/she hang out in places that he/she knew you always hung out at
  6. Yes No I'm not sure I can't remember
  7. Has he/she done any favours for you
  8. Yes but I had to pay for it Yes and he/she didn't charge me anything Yes in return for spending time with him/her No
  9. Has he/she mentioned missing you
  10. Yes No I can't remember I'm not sure
  11. The last time you contacted your ex he/she seemed
  12. Happy to hear from me Sad like they had missed me Awkward like he/she didn't know what to say to me I haven't spoken to him/her since the break-up
  13. Has he/she ever mentioned good memories you shared
  14. Yes No I'm not sure I can't remember
  15. What do his/her friends say
  16. They ask me how i feel about him/her They ask me if I miss him/her They ask me if I'm dating / seeing anyone else I don't speak to them or They don't say anything
  17. Has he/she ever drunk texted or called you drunk
  18. Yes: saying he/she misses me Yes: saying he/she regrets the break-up Yes: saying he/she is glad that it's over or that he/she hates me No
  19. Has he/she made any efforts to see you
  20. Yes: He/she suggested we hang out Yes: he/she visits me Yes: he/she brought me lunch No
  21. What are his/her facebook statuses or tweets likely to say
  22. song lyrics or poems about love Something about loving being single Something about being depressed or lonely He/she doesn't have facebook or twitter or I can't see his / her statuses / tweets
  23. Whenever you're together (in a group or alone) he/she
  24. Ignores me Treats me like we're still together or dating Treats me the same way he/she treats his/her other opposite gender friends We're never together
  25. Your friends say
  26. They heard he misses me from his friends or him He asks them about me He looks lonely without me or is hurt by the break-up They don't talk about him
  27. When you broke up:
  28. He asked for the break-up He was happy about breaking up He begged me not to break-up with him He wanted to work things out

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50 comments:

  1. o my gawd he totaly wants me back nooooooo i broke up with him 4 a reason

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  2. Hi there!
    Glad you found this useful lol :)

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  3. Can someone plz help me..my bf & I broke up for a while..but now we're co-workers & so called - friends. He's rely confusing me.. The way he talks to me & his behavior is obvious tht he wants to be with me but he doesn't say anythin?? :/ we sometimes take breaks 2gether but we don't say much.. Idk watt to dooo :/

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    1. Hi there!

      There's a big possibility that you might be right and he might want to be with you. He might just be afraid that you might not feel the same or want to take things slow depending on the reason why you broke up in the first place.
      Is he currently in another relationship? This could also be the reason why he hasn't officially made a move yet.
      There is a lot you could use as signs and clues to his feelings. The best way to really find out though (if you feel brave enough) is to flat out ask him. You could ask him in a 'joking' way. It's a proven fact that 50% of what we say when we joking is the truth anyway.
      Try saying something like "why do you spend so much time with me? Do you want me back or something" and giggle in a joking kind of way. It will be a great way to see his first reaction and first reactions usually reveal all. You'll probably have a lot more insight after that.
      You could read hints he won’t miss for more tips: http://relationship-tips-that-work.blogspot.com/2011/06/hints-he-wont-miss.html

      Hope this helps!
      Good luck :)

      Delete
  4. hi i broke up with my bf because his parents didnt like me. but now he deleted me off facebook and skype. but when i check on the photos of him, he still has my comments of him and the photo i took of him. he also changed his number. what does that mean?his he really over me or hates me?

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    1. Hey!
      Thanks for commenting :)

      I'm really sorry that you had to go through that with your ex. Having to break up due to pressure from other people is never a pleasurable thing. Please read how to know whether or not you made the right decision breaking up with someone it talks about the difficulty in dealing with a break up that occurred due to interference such as parents of either of you.

      I don't know how long ago your break up happened but if it is relatively fresh still this could be the reason why (or contributing towards) your ex acting this way. Maybe he needs time to deal with what happened in his own way. The break up must have been hard on him too seeing as it was his parents who led to you breaking up with him.

      I think the best thing to do would be to give him time to deal with everything. The fact that he deleted you might have been due to hurt or anger at what happened with the break-up. With regards to the picture and comment he might have missed that when he was going through his profile or deliberately kept it because he still wants something of you. The only way to tell is by giving him time to deal with his emotions. Let him have some space and maybe when his thought everything through he might contact you or invite you again.

      Good luck!

      Delete
  5. so im really confused.
    my ex and i broke up about two months ago. he went back to his ex gf (who is pregnant with someone elses baby) and apparantly they are now engaged (according to his cousin). he tells me he called off the engagement due to them not having those feelings anymore. he tells me he f***** up really badly with me. he reminds me of all these good times together. but im just afraid of being played again. please help me :(

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    1. Hey!

      Thanks a lot for the comment. I hope that I’ll be able to help.

      I'm not sure how long you were dating for when you broke up or how many times this might have happened before as this could all impact the situation. If you've had an on and off kind of relationship you'd be more likely to be concerned about this kind of thing happening again (as it is more likely to happen again). If you were together for a really short time you'd be more likely to worry about him laving you again after a short space of time in contrast to having dated for a long while and having made one mistake that he's sorry about and is less likely to repeat.

      Depending on your past (as has been previously mentioned) he seems to be really sorry about what happened and knows that it was his fault. You alone know whether or not he's being sincere, whether or not you can trust him or believe him and whether or not he really does regret what happened and will not do anything to hurt you in the future.

      You know him better than me or anyone else so ultimately you need to make the decision.

      My advice to you would be to assess the things that happened (as I mentioned before):

      - Has he done something like this before?
      - Do you REALLY think that he might do it again?

      Think about whether or not you can trust him with your most prized possession - your heart. If you can't trust him then is the relationship really worth it - after all trust is one of the main ingredients of importance in any relationship.

      Remember, everyone makes mistakes and sometimes deserves another chance. Please read:
      Do second time around relationships work?
      Should I take my ex back
      How to make a relationship work the second or third time around
      These might help you with making your decision.

      Weigh out the pros or cons with regards to taking a chance on him but keep YOU your first priority. If you feel that it's best for you if you move on and give someone else a chance instead then so be it. YOU come first! Giving someone a second chance is okay but having them take advantage of you is definitely not.

      I hope everything works out perfect for you.
      Good luck!

      Delete
  6. I'll make a long story short. My ex dumped me 8 months ago, because i was jealous and insecure. I didn't take that to well. So i begged my way back in and no luck! So for my idiotic moment. I called her a hoe and the B word, because i was drunk and heart broken. ( i did this at her job). A long time ago. I don't use those words anymore and i matured since.

    When i did see her she told me to leaver her alone and i did. She didn't want anything to do with me.

    The present: So i have been hanging out back at the bar where she works at lately. And we slowly been talking nice to each other again. Last week she was flirting with me, grabbing my pool stick, while i had my back turned. She also started convos with me.

    So last night she gave me money to buy her dinner and i did. So i asked her out for lunch sometime. And she said "Well i have all of next week off". I said ok.

    Just for reassurance i asked again before i left. She said i have your # now" (my new # i gave her last week) and she gave me a hug goodnight.

    With that being said, do u think she'll call me out for lunch?

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    1. Hey there!
      Thanks for the comment :)

      In my opinion I think everything looks to be in your favour and she might actually call you.

      It really seems like she enjoys your company (from all that you've said) and maybe she's willing to give you another chance.

      I can't tell you that she'd like to get back into a relationship with you (maybe not right away) but it really does seem like she's put the past behind her.

      Good luck!!!

      Delete
  7. my boyfriend and I broke up because I work most of the day everyday and when I get home I get really grumpy because the apartment isnt clean. Recently I've found out im pregnant. I see him everyday when I get out of work when i go see friends. He asks them how I am and if everythings ok with me. Yet when he talks to me he is completely horrible or mean. My friends say hes just scared because the fact he doesnt wanna get hrut again (even though he dumped me), and his roomate at his new apartment says he talks abotu em and asks about me all the time. When I see him he just stares at me until i notice then hell go back to talking to someone. Lately a friend of mine has been all over him and it seems like they only hang out when I'm there or my friends because he knows theyll tell me. This friend tells me she doesnt have feelings for him and that hes helpign her through a rough time. Does he want me back like everyone says or does he honestly hate me?

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    1. Hi there

      Thanks a lot for your comment.

      Congratulations on the baby :) Babies are a blessing no matter the circumstances.

      I have a few concerns:

      1. Please don’t stress a lot or cause anyone (your friend and ex included) to stress you out; it isn’t good for you or the baby.
      2. Assuming that the baby is your exes (I don’t know how long you’ve been broken up for); does he know that you’re pregnant? If he does he should be treating you a lot better considering the fact that you’re carrying his child.

      Your situation is very complex and I can’t tell much about how your ex might feel about you because I don’t know much about him or the situation (how long you’ve been broken up for, whether or not he knows your pregnant, etc.).
      Judging from the fact that your ex has been talking about you a lot and enquiring about how you were doing, it seems like he does still have feelings for you. I would DEFINITELY NOT say that your ex hates you. I don’t know how long you were together before you broke up but the fact that you were living together implies that your relationship must have been serious and you must have had deep feelings for each other (judging from the fact that you want to know how he feels about you and he’s asking about you – you both still do have feelings for each other).

      I would agree with your friends that your ex’s behaviour with regards to being horrible or mean with you might be related to the break-up. I would say though that it’s likely to be due to the fact that he’s still trying to get over the break up and doesn’t know how to express his feelings to you without feeling emasculated. I understand that he may have ended things but break-ups (especially ones where feelings may have been deep or in a long term relationship) affect both people.

      You know your ex best; his personality, etc. You need to ask yourself (keeping in consideration how well you know him); could he be hiding how he really feels about you? Could he feel like he made a mistake by ending things but have too much pride to tell you? This is sometimes the case and if it matches your ex’s personality it is likely to be the case. Many guys especially have a hard time expressing their true feelings due to pride or fear of rejection and this could result in him treating you badly or trying to make you jealous as he has been.

      I don’t feel like your friend’s a really good friend (if that’s what she is) due to the fact that she knows the situation and yet doesn’t seem to be taking much consideration of your feelings – seeing as she appears to be all over your ex. The fact that she told you that she doesn’t have any feelings for him must mean that you spoke to her about it already; the best thing I can suggest then is that you try and avoid her. I know you said that you see them together whenever you’re with your friends or you hear about it from your other friends but try as best you can to evade them and next time your friend’s mention them tell them that you don’t want to know or hear about it anymore.

      With regards to knowing how your ex feels you can be assured that he DOES NOT hate you. If you’d like to know whether or not there’s a chance that you can get back together again then the only way to do that is by speaking to him. I know it might seem like something really hard to do but it’s your best shot at getting everything sorted out almost immediately – either you will be working towards fixing things or it will be over for good.
      Please read:

      Tips on finding out how someone feels about you

      How to find out how someone feels about you

      These might help you a great deal.

      If you haven’t told your ex about the baby yet please do so. He could be a whole lot more supportive if he knew.

      I wish you everything of the best with your pregnancy and relationship.

      Good luck!

      Delete
  8. i have an ex we been on and off since 12 years old we are now 24 and no matter what happens in life we always come back to each other . my thing is we were eachothera first love s and we just ran into eachother again and once again hit it off he just had a baby and has a gf but he tells me he miss me and when i went to vist him and his family before i drove off he stops me and tells me he loves me i didnt respond cause im scared of being hurt again. the reason we broke up was cause he had cheated on me. what should i do

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    1. Hi there
      Thanks for the comment.

      I think that it's pretty clear to see that your ex hasn't changed at all. You broke up with him because he cheated and by him telling you he misses you and loves you while he's dating someone else and has a baby with her it's clear he's still a cheater. I understand the depth of your relationship and the fact that you have really deep feelings for him - after all you basically dated for 12 years all together - but you need to think about the whole situation here. You were right to worry about getting hurt by responding. You need to put yourself first.
      Besides the fact that you're likely to get hurt due to the fact that you're exboyfriend doesn't really seem to have changed there is also a child in the picture now. You need to consider this too.

      I hope that you make the right decision and that everything works out for you.

      Good luck!

      Delete
  9. So I lived with my now ex boyfriend for almost 3 years. He broke up with me which caused me to move out of the apt. And go a out my way. 7 months later we start talking again and he talks about the past constantly which leads me to believe that he still thinks of me and he even tell me stories so I know he does. We continue to talk and text and he ends up inviting me to his new place. I think it's a step in going forward since I had no clue that he even lived alone and I thought that it was nice for him to invite me. He did invite me in a playful matter not really thinking that I would be willing to go. So upon getting there it's a bit awkward since we hadn't seen each other just had been talkin on the phone and texting but then l ended up staying there and he kept trying to kiss me and we ended up sleeping with one another and cuddled all night. I left that morning and we continued to stay in contact thoughout the weekend. Prior to going over we had made plans to go skydiving and I told him I needed to know in advance to book the appointment. So three days have passed and I remind him again to ask his father to reschedule and he replies back with "please leave me alone. I have moved on and I have a girlfriend now and I dont want you interfering in our lives! I was shocked by his behavior and it came out of nowhere. Why would he invite me and constantly talk about our relationship and him thinking he made a mistake? Was he cheatig on hi current girlfriend with me? Or was it just too much to deal with now?

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    1. Hello there

      Thanks for the comment. I hope that I will be able to help.

      I'm really shocked at your ex’s behaviour too and think that what he did was really horrible.

      I cannot tell you for sure what your ex is thinking, feeling, doing or what's going through his mind but can only try and highlight the possibilities to you and tell you what seems most likely.

      Something that seems a little confusing is that (taking away the fact that you kissed, stayed over and you slept together) his behaviour in that he spoke about your relationship, he kept contact after you had left and he brought up memories from the past all seem to be leading to or hinting at the fact that he still had or has feelings for you and missed the relationship. I know that you said that he texted you and asked you to leave him alone but are you sure that he sent the text? Could someone else (like his girlfriend or someone) have sent the text from his phone instead?

      If you're sure that he sent the text then it seems to me that you might be headed in the right direction by asking if he was cheating on his girlfriend with you. From his response it seems like he may feel that he made a mistake by sleeping with you or being with you especially if he is in another relationship at the moment.

      You know how you can really want something very badly and then when you have it you realize that you don't want it as much anymore or don't want it at all? This could have been the case with your ex. As horrible and bad as it sounds he may have said all those things to you about your past relationship and everything because he didn't think that he could have you and didn't expect you to come over but once you did and he slept with everything could have changed.

      I think that the only way to find out for sure how your ex feels is to do what the message said and leave him alone - give him time. If he did send the message and really feels that way then you will see with time that he won't contact you like he used to and you can move on with your life.

      If the message wasn't sent by him though or if he made a really horrible mistake by sending it (Maybe it was all too much for him or he has a lot on his mind or is confused right now) then time will help him to see things a lot clearer and he will be contacting you soon.

      I know the hardest part is waiting and having no idea what's going on or what will happen next but trust that time will sort everything out and that everything will work out perfect in the end. If you're not meant to be with him you will find the one you're truly meant to be with, with time.

      Long term relationships (like the one you had) hurt the most when they end and they can cause pain and confusion for both the person that ended the relationship and the one that didn't. Only time can heal all wounds and show you what needs to happen next.

      If you feel that you can't wait things out then CALL (not text) your ex and ask him what changed between the night you spent together and now. Hope fully he will be man enough to explain that to you at least. Hide your caller ID if you feel that he isn't taking your calls.

      Good Luck and God Bless

      Delete
  10. hey so.. we were together for 2 years and like 2 months, i broke up with him because i moved to hawaii for the summer, didnt mean i didnt love him, i still wanted to be with him i just didnt think it was fair, i dont know what i was thinking honestly, i made a huge mistake and i wish i never came here, he recently told me he was dating this girl for the last month, he broke up with her 2 days ago, because of me i think, he told me he still has feelings for her, but he does love me and miss me, he wants me to come see him so i did book a flight and ill see him in 35 days.. he says he doesnt know if its going to make a difference seeing me though since its been 6 months and he doesnt remember how i am. i know he still talks to her alot, still likes pics of her on fb which makes me feel like hes giving her more hope then hes giving me, even if it is a stupid site. and she is very similar to me so im confused. is she just a rebound? do you think theres any way when he sees me he will want me back and realize he doesnt like her as much as he thought. he told me i hurt him alot and it still hurts him to this day, ive apologized countless times and told him i never stopped loving him or wanting to be together, ive always wanted a family with him. i dont know what to do, im fighting hard to make him see im telling him the truth and will never hurt him like that again. i think hes just really scared even though he says hes not. help me please?

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    1. Hey Jessica!

      Thanks for commenting. I hope I’ll be able to help.

      Six months means a relatively long time since your break-up so the fact that you both still care about and have feelings for each other shows the intensity and depth of your love for each other. Long term relationships such as the one you had always hurt the most when they end. Love doesn’t disappear and you can’t just make yourself forget the other person.

      It’s okay that he dated the other girl for like a month – you shouldn’t let their relationship discourage you from seeing hope in the fact that you could get back together. A relationship of one month is nowhere near one of over 2 years. I’m not saying that there is no way that he has just as deep feelings for this other girl but what I’m saying is that you shouldn’t concentrate your attention and thoughts on her, his relationship with her or anything to do with her (how many times he likes her statuses or pics on Facebook, etc.). The fact that their relationship just ended two days ago could be a very big contributor to the fact that he still keeps contact with her and everything. Maybe they had a mutual decision on breaking-up and decided to be friends or that they would be better off being friends.

      If he truly loves you he will still feel the same way when he sees you again whether it’s been one month, two months or six (as in your case). Seeing you would be more likely to reignite any sparks he once felt for you than it would be to put him off of you.

      With regards to the other girl, the fact that she appears to be very similar to you could be the reason why he’s with her and in that sense you could be right about her being the rebound girl. It could be a case of he still has feelings for you and thus looked for someone similar to be in your place after you left. Seeing as he feels like he might have a chance with you again that could have sparked or contributed towards the break up almost in a case of leaving a duplicate (her) for the original (you) - as weird as that may seem or sound.

      I can understand that he might be little scared (even though he won’t admit it) seeing as how things ended. He could still feel this way subconsciously even if he pretends he doesn’t. The fact that you were in such a long term relationship could have given him the idea of stability and a sense of “forever-ness” and having things suddenly change without him actually having done anything wrong could have really been devastating for him.

      I can’t promise you that he will take you back or give your relationship another chance but I do still see an aspect of hope in your relationship and think that if you can help him remember all the good times and see all the things he fell in love with in you in the first place he might be able to give your relationship another shot. I’m not saying it will be easy, you do know that he was hurt badly but with time, love, dedication and commitment from the both of you the relationship could work.

      The following articles might help you:

      Making him remember the good so that the bad fades away
      How to make a relationship work the second or third time around

      Good Luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  11. hello, ill try to make this short for you. me and my ex have bin talking alot lately. one night at a chorus function the both of us had to work because he is the4 vice president and im treasurerbut any way after sittinjng there for awhile he invitedd me to join him to walk the halls helping parents find there kids class rooms. the whole time he was just flirting with me, playing with my hair, commenting on my height (im very short and hes very tall) we walked around for a bit longer then we regrouped with the the rest of the chorus officers. we have this inside joke where we make fun of Stacy jaxx from rock of ages ans we would re-enact a scean where he asks the girl to open her mouth. we would would do this all the time and laugh at eachother all the time. but this night he said the line and i just went with it but the second i touched his tounge i backed awy and licked his shirt as if i was disgusted but i wasn't ;)so after a while again we walked around again and he was still flirting with me and he kissed me in the back of the auditorium where we were completely alone he tugged my hair pushed his body into me and i loved every second of it but that only lasted about 8 minutes because we had to leave and go home. im to scared to ask why he kissed me because hes really complicated to understand. but i would like to date him again i just dont know what to make of this. :/

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    1. Hey Tatianna!

      Thanks for commenting :)

      I’m not sure how your relationship usually is with your ex or if you usually kiss and everything even though you’re not together anymore but it really does seem to me like there are still some really strong and genuine feelings there from both sides.

      It’s clear that he was flirting with you and looking for an ‘excuse’ to kiss you with the joke. I’m not sure how long you’ve been broken up for either but it really seems like there is potential to get back together.

      I think that your best bet (especially with regards to the fact that you’re scared to ask him about it) would be to keep things going the way they're going a little longer and see where everything leads. Maybe go with the flow a little like you did that night. You should know him relatively well and know what kind of person he is; would he usually just make out with you if he didn’t have deeper feelings for you? Would he make out with you in a ‘friends with benefits kinda way?

      You’re biggest assurance with regards to what happened should be that there definitely still is an attraction, chemistry and feelings between the two of you. You’re biggest concern should be that things could turn into more of a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship.

      Like I said, take things slowly and see where they lead. Once you feel a little more confident in his feelings and are able to read the situation a little better he will either have said something to you along the lines of your relationship or where it’s going or if he hasn’t you will need to take the next step in asking him about it.

      You can ask him in a casual joking kinda way if you’re afraid to ask him flat out. Read 'Hints he won't miss' and do something along the lines of saying ‘so what am I to you right now?’, ‘Do you go around making out with all your exes?’ or ‘What would you describe our relationship as’.
      Be creative, be fun and take away the seriousness in the conversation. Your relationship definitely seems like it was / is a fun one with the inside jokes and everything. Keep the serious stuff fun too and you should be okay.

      Good luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  12. Thanks i had another encounter with him the other day. He and i made out again, but this time i tried asking if he did that with all his exs and he just said "shush" which is what he dose when he feels almost embarrassed. I then relized he trys to be around me alot more then usual. Like putting me inside of the chorus closet with him as a joke or sit on top if me on the couch or talks to me more, he even blew a kiss at me the other day. I have gotten him to tell me he loves me but i dont know what he's talking about when he says that. I feel like we are dating. I'm not sure how im suppose to react to some of these things or what i should do next.

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    1. Hello :)

      I think the best thing to do would be to go with the flow until you feel that you're both ready to talk about everything.

      You know what kind of personality he has (what gets him shy or embarrassed and what doesn't) and you seem to be handling things pretty well so keep doing what you're doing because you're doing well.

      He really does seem to still have feelings for you; it's just a case of finding out how deep the feelings are and how sincere he is.

      I'd really like for you to make sure that with all the making out and intimacy you don't end up in a 'friends with benefits' situation if that is not where you'd like to be. Besides that everything seems to be looking good. If all works well you should be back together sooner than you know it. He might also feel like you're together again but just be afraid of saying it.

      Giving the situation time is the best thing to do right now. If, however time passes and you're still stuck in the same position - not knowing exactly where you stand with him - then you're going to need to speak to him about it no matter how embarrassed it gets him.

      Have fun and keep up the good work :)

      Delete
  13. Hi, It's been more than 3 months since the break up and we were together for 9 months. He was the one who initiated the break up. I cried and begged him to stay but he broke up with me. After the break up, he sent me mixed signals and I confronted him about it. He said that he regretted the relationship and he'll never look for me in the future.So, I ignored him, then, he started posting lots of hurtful things online and told his friends terrible stuff about me which was not true. I blocked him on social networks. He flirts with other girls when I'm around before this. But now, he stalks me online and even reads my blog. If he really didn't care, why would he want to do that? Also, he tells other girls (who are taken) that he has forgotten about me. This is really confusing. I've already started seeing someone else. (Nothing serious, we're just getting to know each other) but his actions are really confusing me. What does he want? He makes no effort to contact me, but I contacted him about a month ago to say sorry and he replied, which was shocking because I thought he would never reply. We don't talk to each other anymore. But, he told me he's still not able to talk to me. What does it mean? Does it mean he still loves me?Or wants me back? Please help. I'm really confused. He's still single and he's not seeing anyone.

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    1. Hi there :)

      Thanks for commenting and contributing. I hope that I will be able to help you clear things up a little.

      The only person who knows why your ex is behaving the way that he is or how he truly feels about you is him. It is apparent though that the horrible stuff he’s done to you; the way he treats you, saying mean things about you and posting nasty things about you online, all by far exceed any positive signals he may have given you that he still cares (such as cyber stalking you).
      The fact that he checks up on your social network profiles or reads your blog is hardly a solid with regards to him wanting to fix the relationship. Sometimes even if an ex doesn't want to get back together with you they will check up on you due to curiosity or wanting to see whether or not you're fine without them.

      In my opinion you deserve to be treated better than how he’s been treating you. I’m not sure what went wrong in your relationship or why you felt the need to apologize but considering all the stuff you’ve said that he’s said and done to you he should be the one apologizing. No matter what went wrong in your relationship his current behaviour seems very immature and foolish.

      You need to think about whether or not he is actually someone you’d like to be with considering everything. 'Should I take my Ex back' this might help you better decide.

      Good luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  14. Hi Jade, I really enjoyed your article and the fact that you genuinely try to help people. My boyfriend of almost a year broke up with me (out of nowhere) 2 months ago. At first I didn't understand what was going on because it was very unexpected, it all happen when I was going through a very hard time and I must admit that my attitude (maybe a month before the breakup) was not the best being that I was under a lot of stress. He gave me a tons of excuses as a reason to why he was breaking up with me and finally just said that "he was just not ready." The reason I am so confused is because he was basically the perfect BF, we hardly ever argued and when we did it would be over small things like a movie. We would see each other at least 4 times a week, we were even talking about moving out together. To be honest he treated me like a princess and never gave me a motive to doubt his love for me. At one point, prior to the break up, i suggested a break between us because I feared that my hard time and attitude would mess up the relationship.
    I will admit that after he broke up with me I didn't take it well and said some pretty nasty things to him. I constantly texted him and he would always reply but texting got me nowhere I thought that me talking and expressing how bad he hurt me he would realize that he was making a mistake, that never happened. I have tried to stop contacting him and when I finally had about a week of no contact he texted me at 4am telling me he was unable to sleep thinking about me and that he hopes I have a good day at work, I replied when I was heading to work with a simple thanks, and he texted me a smiley face. I don't know what to think anymore. I am 27 (he is 25) and I finally thought I found the one, my soulmate but this sudden break up has left me torn, I find my self unable to move on. I have not texted him for a few days now and he hasn't texted me either. Please Jade help me... Thanks in advance...

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    1. Hi there :)

      Thanks a lot for the compliment and for commenting on this article. I hope that I will be able to help a little.

      I hope that things have gotten a little better (at least) since you wrote and that you’re feeling a little better about everything. Break-ups are really awful and the longer the relationship was (as in the case of yours being almost a year) the more they hurt.

      I get that you were really stressed out at the time and feel that this may have contributed towards the break up but you need to understand that all relationships have rocky bits and pieces and that stuff like stress can often impact a relationship so you shouldn’t necessarily blame yourself.
      Your boyfriend is meant to be your best friend so I’m assuming that he knew about the stress and pressure you were enduring and the fact that you were going through a hard time during that period; he should have probably been a little more considerate and understanding and if he was then maybe this didn’t impact the break-up at all.

      When one person is having a hard time they need to be able to rely and count on the other person to understand and be there and support them through it not fear that they need space in order to avoid negatively impacting the relationship. You need your partner more during harder times.

      The fact that he gave you tons of excuses for the break up either means that he wasn’t sure why he was doing it himself or there’s something that he isn’t telling you. If you feel that “he wasn’t ready” is the honest and true reason for the break-up then okay (you should know when he’s telling the truth and when he isn’t) but it seems a little strange that it would take someone a year to figure out that they weren’t ready for a serious relationship (or whatever it is he felt he wasn’t ready for).
      Him not being ready could have also resulted in him suggesting you took things a little slower or maybe even had a little space from each other but suggesting a break-up was a little extreme.

      The problem with having a ‘perfect relationship’ suddenly crumble is that it obviously wasn’t so perfect at all and usually that’s what hurts the most. Sometimes it might seem perfect to one person but to the other there may be problems that he or she isn’t voicing. Looking at the fact that you say that you never really argued and stuff there is a chance that your communication doors weren’t that wide open. Many see arguing as a bad thing but sometimes it usually isn’t. When you argue it allows you insight into the other persons mind, you get to see and hear how he or she feels about something or everything and you get to talk things out.
      Arguments and fights are also at times a sign that both parties care about the relationship enough to fight for it. You’re two completely different individuals and especially when dating for under a year there is no way you know everything about each other: you cannot have ALL THE EXACT same likes and dislikes, viewpoints or opinions and the fact that you only rarely argued about little stuff like movies is rather concerning.
      Maybe you’re both or either of you doesn’t express themselves that well. This could cause the relationship to appear perfect when either or both of you is just keeping things in which eventually can result in the ending of a relationship instead of problems or difficulties being worked through.

      continued below

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    2. I know how badly it hurts to feel like you really love on person and don’t know what to do to get them back. I understand how hard it is to try and stop yourself from texting or calling but this seems like the best thing for you to do. The fact that he texted you after you cut contact for a week demonstrates the fact that not texting him or constantly calling him will result in him thinking about and contacting you. Hang on in there.

      I think that if you’re up to it, I would suggest you telling him how you feel (if you haven’t yet). I know you said that you said all sorts of mean things to him due to being hurt, upset and trying to make him realize what a mistake he was making but I’m not sure if you told him that.

      Like I said break ups are really hard and horrible but sometimes they’re needed to allow you some time apart and to make you both see how much you need each other, miss each other and that it really ‘doesn’t get much better than what you have.

      The way I see it you could do one of three things.
      1. Cut contact and wait for him to make the next move. If he contacts you again with a similar message or tone as the last one (sort of checking up on you) be a little more conversational and friendly. Ask him how he’s doing or how he’s been or say that it’s nice to know that he still thinks about you. Let him know that you still care about him. Guys are really sensitive and if you treat him like you don’t care (replying with thanks only or something) it’s going to make him reluctant to contact you again or make another move. Guys really are insecure and fear rejection so you have to give him a little hope if you want him to pursue you.
      2. Taking into consideration the fact that he made the last move (contacting you after a week of no contact) you can randomly contact him after a set period (maybe a week of no contact again or something). Be friendly, be random and be happy. You need to contact him in a happy spirit and stay away from ‘the relationship’ topic. Read making contact for more on this. Tell him that you were just calling to say hi, see how he’s been or because he randomly just popped in your mind and you felt like calling. Don’t text because you might feel stressed out if you need to wait for a reply. Also don’t call from your number (or rather hide your caller ID if you do) so that if he doesn’t hear his phone, isn’t near it or for any other reason can’t answer your call you won’t worry thinking that he’s avoiding you or deliberately not taking your call.
      3. Alternatively if you feel like you’d like to get straight down to telling him how you feel (if you haven’t yet) and would like to apologize for the mean things you may have said, write him a letter. A letter will allow you to say everything you want to say without feeling nervous, worrying that you might forget anything or being interrupted. Read how to write a letter to your ex for more on this.

      I really hope that this helps a little and that everything starts looking up really soon.

      Good luck and God Bless

      Delete
  15. My boyfriend broke-up with me,... but he's been telling me that he misses me, and that he thinks we belong together in future just not right now. He still flirts with me alot and says he is still in love with me so we cant be friends right now. Should I move on? Or wait for him to be ready? BTW he was always a really good boyfriend and treated me like a queen b4 the break-up. He swears there is no one else, and that there wont be anyone for a long time... I have access to his FB and Twitter and there doesnt seem to be anybody.. he tweets about there still being hope in love and uploads sad videos... One of which he's quoted from to me. Its Jagged Edge_ Goodbye.
    All my firneds are against us getting back together and so is my family because he broke-up with me, but I dunno how I feel..

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    1. Hi there

      Thanks for sharing your story and commenting :)

      I’m really sorry about your break-up and the fact that your boyfriend decided to end things. Sometimes you just need to find trust and solace in the fact that everything happens for a reason.

      Deciding on whether or not you should get back together with someone depends on a lot of things:

      • The reason for the break-up: It would be better to get back together with someone if the relationship ended due to a misunderstanding or his/her insecurities or jealousy then it would be over him/her cheating or lying. I’m not sure why you broke up because you didn’t indicate the reason why he ended things but seeing as he went from treating you like a queen to ending things, it must mean that he felt like you did something wrong.
      • Whether or not the problem or reason for the break up can be fixed: misunderstandings can be sorted out but things like infidelity or lying are usually more likely to reoccur and so it wouldn’t really be best to get back into a relationship where either of these were the case unless you’re entirely sure things have changed. Again, the fact that he ended things must mean that he didn’t do any of these and maybe you did so getting back together would be entirely his call.
      Please read 'Should I take my Ex back' for more on this.

      I’m not sure whether or not you did something to lead him to end the relationship but the thing that I find most disturbing is the fact that if he broke your heart and broke up with you over something insignificant, a misunderstanding or wrongfully, he should be waiting for you to be ready and not the other way around. Him breaking up with you and telling you that he still loves you, the flirting, etc. all seems like he’s trying to have his cake and eat it too. It seems to me that right now he’s content having you in his life as a “friend” or “friend with benefits” without having to fully commit to you until “he’s ready” or has had enough fun out there doing whatever he wants without having to owe you any explanations. Please read 'What is friends with benefits' to make sure that you don't end up in this situation. Please not that an emotional affair or relationship is just as deep (or more so) as a physical one. If he doesn't want to have you as a friend or be in a relationship with you then then the only thing in-between is a "friend with benefits"...

      continued below

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    2. Unless you cheated on him or something, if he regretted breaking up with you or really loved you as much as he says he does he wouldn’t be waiting for the future or hinting that he’s not ready and you wouldn’t need to wait for him to be ready; he would be begging you to give him another chance and telling you how stupid he was for ending things with you.

      I understand the fact that he says there isn’t anyone else and you haven’t found proof about this but are you really 100% sure? In your past relationship did he ever lie to you or give you reason to doubt him or loose trust in him? These are all things you need to consider.

      If he ended things because you cheated or something then that’s really sad considering the fact that he treated you so well. If he broke up with you for no apparent reason or for no good reason then it should be a major concern how he can go from treating you so well to breaking up with you and turning things around so that you're the one waiting for him to be ready.

      With regards to your family and friends being against you getting back together with him there must be a really good reason why. I don’t know why or how he ended things but they do so maybe you should take their opinions into account. By taking their opinions into account it means listening and absorbing everything they say but ultimately making the best decision you can for yourself afterwards. Only you can make the decision because it affects your life. Maybe you’ll make the right decision even if it is going against your family and friends and you’ll be happy, but maybe you’re family and friends are right and the last thing you want to hear a little down the line is “I told you so” from all angles.

      I think that you need to think everything through. Weigh out your pros and cons and think about everything clearly. I really don't see why you would even consider waiting around for someone who broke your heart. If someone breaks your heart, you shouldn’t be waiting for them to be ready they should be waiting for you. Remember, if this guy is not the one for you there is someone out there waiting who’s already all customized.

      Make the right decision for you.

      Good luck and God bless

      Delete
  16. Hello :)

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 months ago and our relationship was pretty perfect... we never fough, we spent most of our time together, and we got along beautifully. We had alot of inside jokes and what not. But i never expected him to break up with me... about a month ago he started kissing me when we were alone and it was almost like we were dating again.
    About 2 weeks ago he got really sick and his phone was off and everyone thought he was dead until he came back and started using his phone again. Now he acts like thos days never happened. I am very confused .

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    1. Hi there

      Thanks for commenting :)

      I’m sorry about your break-up. The worst break-ups are often those that come as a surprise. The problem with hardly ever fighting is that sometimes it’s a sign that the doors to communication in your relationship aren’t that open. Fighting is not always a bad thing (Advantages and Disadvantages of fighting in relationships). It shows that you’re talking and sharing your feelings, opinions and thoughts. No couple can agree on every single thing because you’re two completely different individuals so by hardly ever fighting it sometimes means that either or both of you is not being completely honest or open.

      There is no such a thing as a perfect relationship. By watching a true romance movie like the notebook (Romantic Movies we can learn from) you get to see what true love really is and that perfection in relationships doesn't exist. If your relationship seems perfect in that you NEVER ever fight, you ALWAYS agree or anything like that, chances are there’s something beneath the surface you’re not aware of and you can be in for a really nasty surprise like you were with the break-up.

      I’m not sure how long you were together before the break-up but I would take the kissing and everything to mean that he either still finds you attractive and has feelings for you OR he needed a 'Friend with Benefits' (what it is) at the time.

      Being caught in the 'friends with benefits' trap is a really horrible place to be. The fact that he’s pretending it didn’t happen could mean that that’s all he wants: someone to be with every now and then and not to be in an exclusive relationship with one person (you) which is really horrible.

      It could also mean though that he’s a little confused at the moment and is not sure how to handle the situation.

      Only he knows the truth about how he’s feeling right now and only he could tell you.

      In order to make sure that you don’t end up in the 'friends with benefits' trap I would suggest that you don’t kiss him or get emotionally connected to him (as hard as that may seem) until you know for sure where he’s minds at.

      You may want to consider writing your ex a letter (Read how to do this here - what to say, etc) or setting up a hang out date (Read everything you need to know about this here - where to go, what to say, how to read the signs) to try and decipher his feelings. Sometimes it’s best to know exactly how someone feels no matter what the outcome may be. It will allow you to know how to move forward.

      Good luck and God Bless.

      Delete
  17. I'm not sure what to say.. But I need advice. My ex boyfriend and I have been through a lot together. I won't get into details, but we were very happy when we were together. He broke up with me six months ago by telling me that he "didn't have feelings for me anymore" But he still texts me every day and wants to hang out. We have been friends with benifets since we broke up but I put an end to it due to the fact that I started dating someone else. He seemed upset that we were together and told me I should end it and just be his fwb. I have told him how I feel about him and that I want to be with him but he never really says anything about it yet when I saw him a few days ago he wanted to talk about all the good times we had and how we met and first started dating. I am so confused and I just want to be with him but I can't tell if he wants to be with me or if he is just playing with my emotions. Advice please?

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    1. Hi there :)

      Thanks for commenting.

      I'm sorry about the confusion surrounding your current situation but hope for you to make the best decision for you. You need to put YOU first.

      I have replied to your comment and answered your questions in much detail in this post - please read here.

      Good Luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  18. Hey,
    My ex and I have a child we have been together over 4 years and he recently had another child a few months back... He said sleeping with the girl was a mistake and he still wanted to work things out. Me however was still hurt and very emotinoal and begin to feel insecure. We have been broken up for months now bc he couldn't handle me pressuring him and always throwing the situation in his face.I asked him do he love me and he told be he was no longer in love with me nor anyone else. He found someone new soon as we ended. He still calls and texts me to let me know he loves and miss me. He told me he wanted to talk and I can tell that he wanted to ask to work things out but I think he feels that I no longer love him anymore bc of the way I act at times. Truth is I LOVE HIM and I want him back... what should I do?

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    1. Hi there

      Thanks a lot for commenting and sharing your story.

      Please read here. I have replied to your comment here.

      Good luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  19. My boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago and I still miss him. I call him more than he calls me. When he does call me he asks me what I've been doing the past three weeks we haven't been together. Some of the things he asks me he asks me like when we were together. I've asked him to the movies many times and he says yeah and then we don't end up going. He's been working like six days a week and he's been busy. Help me does he still love me and is there a possibility he wants to be with me sometime in the future????

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    1. Hello :)

      Thanks for commenting and contributing to the site.

      I don’t know much about your situation (why you broke up, how long you were together before you broke up, etc.). If the break up was your fault (like you cheated, lied, etc.) and you know that, then it’s understandable that you’ve been contacting him so much and all of that. If it was his decision merely because he felt like it or something insignificant (he felt you weren’t right for each other, he lied and ended things when you found out to turn the situation around on you, he cheated and said it was for your own good that things ended, he said that you’re insecure or clingy, etc.) then you really shouldn’t be contacting him that much.

      I think that whatever the situation is currently (especially if things were ended with you for the wrong reasons) you should break away from him for a while.
      Don’t call him unless he calls you, don’t text unless he texts you, don’t make any contact. I understand that you still have feelings for him and that it will be hard to break contact but you need to do it. He ended things with you so if he wants to get back together with you it will be his decision to make and up to him to make it happen (depending on why he ended things of course).

      I don’t think that you should take his lack of contact or the fact that you haven’t gotten to go to the movies as him not wanting contact or anything though because as you stated, he is extremely busy. Working 6 days a week, he barely has time to rest and recover from work as things must be pretty hectic for him. I think the fact that he wants to know what you’ve been up to is still a little sign that he cares.

      If you stop contacting him BUT are really happy (seem interested and excited to hear from him, let him know that you glad he texted / called, etc.) when he does call, it will turn the tables around and push him to ‘chase’ after you for a change. Don’t make it seem like you’re sitting around waiting for him to make contact or waiting for him to ask you or take you back into his life – go on with your life. Go out with friends or loved ones, take part in a sport or hobby you enjoy and keep your mind occupied. The less time and energy you spend dwelling on and thinking about the situation, the better it will be for you.

      If you’re meant to be together trust me you will be. Just try not to concentrate so much on it anymore. I know that this will be hard but if you concentrate less on it, it will be healthier for you (emotionally) and things will fall together or sort themselves out quicker.

      Please read:
      How to get over a recent break-up

      Good luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  20. Hi, I am male and this is my story: I broke up with my ex-girlfriend 7 (yes, seven) years ago, after relationship that lasted two years. Since then she regularly texts me on my birthday, sometimes on new years to. She even sent me facebook requests two times (second time when she asked me to become facebook friends I think she was a bit drunk).
    When we meet sometimes she seems cold and distant and sometimes she asks me to go out and have a coffee (we see each other approximately once in six months).
    But when I after all of it, after 6 years, asked her openly what does she want from me she said: "I want to be friends with you and that's all". I said to that "If thats what you want live your life without me, no messages, just hello on the street and that's it, cause I cant be friend of yours after all that happened". She said "Fine".
    Now, again a few months ago she texts me again on my birth and in the meantime her close female friend sends me a friend request which I have accepted, Im not sure does the friend request of her friend to me has actually anything to with her.
    So, I am very, very confused, and want to ask you: In your opinion what does she want from me? And what does she feel about me?


    Thank you so much.

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    1. Hi there :)

      Thanks a lot for sharing your story and contributing to this site.

      It is obvious that your ex does still have some feelings for you. Feelings don’t just go away. When you’re with someone (especially in a long term relationship like 2 years) you develop a connection with that person, you love them and care about them. Those feelings don’t just disappear or go away when you break up or things end. Those feelings will always be there.

      In my opinion, I think that your ex does still have feelings for you in HER HEART but in HER HEAD she feels (or knows - depending on what happened in your relationship, why things ended or the fact that you ended things) that things would really not work out with the two of you and that it’s best you both live your separate lives. It may be that by her contacting you she obviously remembers you on special days like your birthday and Christmas, etc. but also she misses you sometimes and just wants to check on you in a way or have a little contact with you every now and then. This can be seen in the fact that most people (male and female) may or may not admit to it (but it’s true) but they check up on their exes – whether asking about them, spying on Facebook or Twitter or looking them up on any other social networks.
      Also, it seems like she does still want to have you around in some kind of way – like you said she said she wants to be friends. I understand that it’s selfish in a way but I think that that’s where she is right now.

      Yes 7 years is a really long time but truth be told, time doesn’t change much. Your deepest and most memorable events are engraved in your mind and time makes no difference to them or feelings as deep as love or affection.

      There is a saying that I think would be very appropriate to your current situation and the advice I’ve just given you – ‘Some people are meant to stay only in your heart but not in your life’. It’s really sad but true. I think that, that might be how your ex is feeling right now but only she could tell you for sure.

      God Bless!

      Delete
  21. My ex and I have been apart for over 8 years. We have children together so we do have contact. Throughout these 8 years there has been talk about getting back together (he cheated) and I have seen him mature in a lot of ways. More recently he made a decision to move back to my state (we live in different states now) but in the interim met someone, got engaged, broke up with her, and is now currently "working things out". My ex has only bought me jewelry one time in the years we have known each other and this Christmas (2012) he bought be a pair of diamond earrings and a blue heart shaped crystal pendant. I jokingly asked if that meant I had his heart and his response was: "lol, always". Well I have been dragged on the emotional battlefield enough to know his words are words but the fact he gave me jewelry has me wondering. He spent Christmas with his girlfriend/fiancee, gave her a necklace as well. What is going on in his brain?

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    1. Hi there!

      To be straight forward and upfront I’d tell you not to read too much into the jewellery. Your ex cheated on you and the fact that he’s giving you jewellery and allowing you to feel like there’s still hope for the two of you while spending Christmas with his new girlfriend/fiancĂ© and giving her a similar gift shows that he really hasn’t changed much.

      Yes he might still have feelings for you: you share children and have a history and love doesn’t just go away especially when you share something as special as children. Sometimes we can have feelings for someone but it still wouldn't work out well if we were to be with them.

      I think that he hasn’t changed all that much and still wants to have the best of both worlds (a relationship and someone on the side). Don’t do this to yourself again. If he wants to be with you it should be exclusively – not as someone on the side. You and your kids deserve better!

      Good Luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  22. for the past two weeks I've bin hanging out with my ex and every time were together its like were dating again, like last night we went to open mic night at a coffee shop and we held hands and we kissed and the time before that he and i went to get some lunch and went to a movie but we were early for the movie so we went into big lots to sit in there chairs and he put a couch tag and i tryed to get it away from him and he took my hands so i couldnt get it then i tryed biting it out of his mouth and he dropped the tag and he kissed me instead. when we saw the movie he held my hand and played with my fingers. When we were dating he didn't like PDA so other then when its just us he doesn't really show affection unless its people hes never associates with. we talk every day and we take pictures together, he hacks my facebook to tell the world im with him, we say we love each other, and im close with his parents and siblings.his mom tells me all the time in her think Porto rican accent "i love you, even though your not dating my son anymore'.

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    1. Hi there!

      Thanks for commenting and sharing your story.

      It really seems like you both still have feelings for each other. I’m not sure what went wrong in your relationship but I think there are still feelings there from both sides. I think that you should probably look out for a ‘friends with benefits’ situation just in case (if this is not where you want to be) although it really does seem like you’re dating again. I think that he may be assuming you’re dating again due to how you’re both acting and the way that you are with each other (going on dates, hanging out, kissing, holding hands, etc.) – it basically is like you’re a dating couple right now.

      If you’re okay with the situation right now, how things are and the way that you are with each other than best just go with the flow and see what happens. If you’d like to know exactly what’s happening then the best thing is to ask him. Read here for how to do this.

      It’s awesome that his mom and family like you. That’s really great. So many aren’t that ‘lucky’ when it comes to relationships.

      I hope everything works out!

      Good luck and God Bless!

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  23. Hi!!! I just hang out with my ex bf and friends recently (in a group of 4 person) and I was confused by his mixed signals. When we sit together beside each other, he somehow was really close to me which makes me feel awkward suddenly. Further, he also request for taking photo together which he never asked for it before. End up we didnt take any picture as my friends knew that I dont want too. (He had a gf after we break up and had been dating around 6 months). He never mentioned his gf in front of me. On that day itself which we hang out together, he was really protective towards me. Well, I was wearing a skirt and he seems to be standing in front of me while we are on the escalator. As he said, other guy will have a peep on me because he felt that my skirt is too short. I told him that it's okay and I don't mind but he seems to ignore my words. Further, when we had our dinner, we were sharing our food (We had a buffet dinner). The feeling was like when we were dating again. After dinner, we had walked and while walking, he told me not to miss him as we couldn't meet each other for a week and he does said that if i miss him, can view his picture in facebook. I just had a laughed with it.

    Also, there was once when he fetched me back to home, I do talked about our break up (I mentioned it because I told him that my mum asked about him). He feel upset and regret if I am not wrong. He just kept silent about it. On our way back, he does mentioned about the moment we had been together too. Further, he does asked me the reason why I was so busy (Since the break up, I was very busy). He does asked me whether I was dating with other guy a not. I didnt answered him and just ignore it. (This is not the first time he had asked me whether I had a new bf a not)

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    1. Hi there :)

      Thanks a lot for your comment and for sharing your story.

      From everything that you’ve told me - especially; the fact that he was protective of you during the time you spent together, the fact that he was trying to get close to you and wanting a picture with you and him enquiring a lot about whether or not you were dating anyone else - it really does seem like he still has feelings for you.

      If you’d like to be more certain of his feelings for you please read Tips to finding out how someone feels about you - Part 1 and Tips to finding out how someone feels about you - Part 2.

      It is then important for you to decide how you feel about him and whether or not you’d like to get back together with him. Please read Should I take my ex back to help you with this.

      Remember to make the best decision for you!!!

      Good Luck and God Bless!

      Delete
  24. To make the story short, my ex boyfriend and i have been dating for three years and we only broke up three months ago. While we were together, i didn't trust him 100% because he gave the cause not to as he flirt with couple of girls and his exs. However, he was caring and was always ready to visit me whenever i wanted him to. we never went out on a date and the worst is he hit me once but i forgave him and we started all over again. But, during those times i always had this anger in me about him talking to his exs, flirting with girls and the messages girls sent to me on facebook that th dated him and all that.

    After i told him its over, he called me on my birthday and asked whether i meant what i said (that it was over between us) and i said yes. However, after couple of months i have realised i still have feelings for him and i miss him so much that no day goes by without me thinking about him or mentioning his name to people i'll be talking to. I called him twice and sent him a text but he replied by saying there's nothing to talk about and that i should do me and he'll do his own thing.

    I just don't know whether he's moved on or doesn't love me again because he hasn't contacted me since our break up.

    Please advice me what to do. I still have feelings for him and i miss him so much.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hey. So my boyfriend wanted to break up with me because our relationship was hurting him. We were together for three months, and during the last month of it, his father got cancer, he had to drop out of school and everything seemed to fall apart for him. He broke up with me, because he felt smothered and needed space. We've hung out a couple of times as friends during the first week after the break-up, and I've kind of wanted him back from the day he said he was done, because it's basically all my fault (that I hurt him and all) and I don't know what to do now. Some days ago, we were hanging out and he put his arm around me and was all cuddly with me. Then, two days later - yesterday - we hung out again, and I sort of thought that the way he had acted meant that we were on the way to being back together, but he told me he didn't want to lead me on in any way, and that he wasn't ready to be my boyfriend again - yet. That "yet" is really all that's on my mind. We talked about how we like each other a lot, and the way things are now, it's like when we first met and dated, and it feels comfortable for the both of us and it's great, to me anyway, and he agreed that we should take things slowly. But I don't know. It confuses me. He never says hi to me first or anything, and he never uses any smileys in any texts - which he always does, with everyone except for his closest friends. During the last week of our relationship, he told me he was done, and then changed his mind about an hour later, and he did that same thing for the whole week. Every day. His thoughts confuse him I think, and he switches rapidly, and A LOT. I'm sort of lost, and in the need for some other opinions than my own and my friends'. Oh, and I talk to his friends about it, and they were all rather positive about it, but they keep warning me as he's the sweetest guy in the world, but he's also really paranoid, and he most likely doesn't have the personality to get back together with someone, because he overthinks everything. Help.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Hi there!

    So my ex and I were together for about 4 months and fell in love very quickly. Long story short he broke up with me saying he did not want a girlfriend right now and would not be able to be the boyfriend I deserve. We went back and forth for a month almost getting back together and then not getting back together. I have broken every rule possible for getting your ex back. I have literally tried everything. We are in college together and have the same friend circle so we see each other all the time. At this point he says he feels nothing more than friends for me. He says he sees me just like anyone else. He says that when we hooked up recently he felt nothing. He told me he doesnt know what might happen in the future but I could potentially be the one and he needs me as a friend in his life. Yet he told me I should just move on from him. He is also going out on dates with a girl he has known for a couple years but says he doesnt care about her that much....I am too confused. I still love him and think he could be the one because when we were together everything was like the movies. We know what we did wrong in the past and have let it go, but I just cant tell if it is worth trying to maybe try again in the future. PLEASE HELP.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi there

      Thanks for contacting me :)

      I hope that I will be able to help.

      It seems like he's either REALLY confused about his feelings or a sad possibility - he wants you to hang around as a plan B or back up plan if things don't work out with the other girl or he doesn't find someone else who he feels is better.

      Whether he really is confused or unfairly using you, the only way to find out is to make him decide what he wants to do.

      Please read:

      How do I get closure
      How to tell how a guy feels about you 1
      How to tell how a guy feels about you 2

      This will guide you through speaking to him: what to say, what to ask, how to say everything and what time limit to give him ultimately resulting in him giving you the answer you need so that you can move on with your life whether with him or apart from him meeting someone else better suited to you in the future.

      Good luck and God Bless!!

      Delete

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