Should I take my ex back

Should I take my ex back? Should I give him / her another chance? Will our relationship last this time around?

Break-ups:
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So many times we face these situations where we feel that we may have made a mistake, situations have changed or we miss the way things used to be and ultimately just want to fix everything and be happy again. There is always that doubt in our minds though as to whether or not trying again is actually worth it or if we really should give that other person another chance.

When confusion arises it's always best to makes sure that you know exactly what you want in order to avoid making a decision you will later regret.

Before you can try to get back together with your ex you need to fully assess the situation. There are a few questions you need to ask yourself before you can even think about attempting anything.

·         Is this past relationship worth fixing?

·         Are there children or others involved which could be impacted negatively if this relationship fails again?

·         Was this an abusive relationship?

·         Does either of us have an addiction that we’re not willing to sort out?

·         Was infidelity the course of the break up? Can trust be mended in this relationship?

·         Do we love each other enough to make this work?

broken hearted:
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·         Are / were the feelings between us mutual or was this always a one sided relationship?

·         Can whatever went wrong be fixed or is it permanently damaging?

·         Is there someone else in their lives?

These and many other questions need to be asked and honestly thought about before you can be sure that you would like to get back together with your ex. It is pointless to start back towards a relationship only to end it again.

You also need to consider the fact that getting back together again does not always guarantee that you will stay together and that break-up rates have been said to be higher for those who have broken up before.

Another way of deciding would be to use an easy technique which I picked up from watching “Why did get married”. Watching movies for me in most cases has been more educational then it has been entertainment and it’s surprising how much you can actually learn from doing it.

This is basically identical to the procedure used to decide between two prospective partners except it’s all centred on the same person.

Steps to deciding Whether or not to take your ex back

1.       Write down the name of your ex and form two columns under it.

Shayne

2.       Label each column pros and cons or advantages and disadvantages.

Shayne
Advantages	Disadvantages

3.       Write down everything you would consider an advantage or disadvantage about dating that person in the columns. This is never an easy task but you need to write down EVERY LITTLE THING in order to make it 100% accurate. If you can leave out certain negative things in order for them to look better on the list then you’re not being honest with yourself and you’ve basically made up your mind already anyway and thus don’t need to be making use of this technique.  The whole procedure is basically reliant on your honesty. Remember you need to evaluate the advantages and disadvantages of being with the person and of being in the relationship.

    

Shayne
Advantages	Disadvantages
Financial Stability	Most of the time I don’t feel loved
He / she is the father / mother of my child	He / she is emotionally or physically abusive

5.       Once you’ve written down everything, you need to go through the list carefully. Be sure to measure all the pros and cons and personally measure what seems more major with regards to advantages and disadvantages.

6.       Once you’ve done this you’ve basically made half your decision already. You should know exactly what would be best with regards to the person concerned. It’s important to know that this whole exercise is mind driven. The other half of deciding is heart driven. If you’re heart and your mind are on the same page and your happy with your outcome then that’s great; you are all set with regards to deciding. If you don’t feel satisfied with the outcome though, then your mind and heart are definitely at loggerheads with regards to this.

exes:
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Sometimes you feel like your mind knows exactly what to do but your heart wants something completely different. Sometimes it’s okay to follow your heart and sometimes it isn’t (like in abusive relationships where your mind will ALWAYS tell you to leave). This is usually where the problem comes in.

 You alone know what you need to do in this situation. Just remember, YOU ALWAYS HAVE TIME! Things become clearer with time and it’s always best to go with the saying ‘If in doubt, don’t’.

No-one ever knows for sure how things are going to turn out but hopefully this technique will help you get a little closer to the answer. Love and relationships are about taking chances. Remember, you can always turn to Prayer when you feel stuck. No prayer ever goes unheard.

You might also want to read:

'Does my ex want me back' quiz

Choosing to end a long term relationship

How to choose between two guys or girls

'Am I still in love with my ex' quiz

How to get your ex back – Part 1  

Do second time around relationships work?

How to make a relationship work the second or third time around

Signs that your ex wants you back

Why am I still in love with my ex? How long will it take for me to be over him/her?

Songs about getting back together with your ex

'Missing your ex' songs

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Posted by Jade