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Friday, August 12, 2011

How to make your bestfriend your girlfriend / boyfriend: Does he/she feel the same?

Am I in love with my bestfriend? How can I make my bestfriend my boyfriend / girlfriend? How do we become more then friends?

Best Friends
There is nothing like spending all your time with the one person that makes you most happy. You get along so well, understand each other like no one else does, and tons of people seem to think that you’re the cutest couple but the fact is you’re just friends – best friends.
In love with my bestfriend
What happens when you realize that you’ve developed feelings for your bestfriend and you’d like to be more then just his/her friend?
There are many things that you can do depending on the circumstances. The first major thing to do is to look for signs that he/she feels the same (read up on Signs that your best friend wants to be more then just friends). Once you feel like there's even a chance that he/she does, there should be nothing stopping you.
There are many ways to try and find out if your friend does in fact have feelings for you if you feel that the signs aren’t clear enough or would just like a little more clarity before making a move.

Talk to his/her close family members or other friends
This is probably the easiest way to find out how he/she feels about you. Your best friend is likely to tell those around you how he/she feels about you even if indirectly.
You could ask in a casual way or get one of your close friends to ask for you (if you'd like to avoid making it obvious that you're interested in how he/she feels about you). 
  • What you want to hear from the friends or family members is that: he/she talks about you a lot or constantly finds reason / excuses to talk about you.
  • He/she hints at or talks about what it would be like if you were dating.
  • He/she jokes about the two of you dating.
  • He/she is always telling them about people assuming you're dating.
Joke about it
According to the movie 'the sweetest thing' there is a 50% rule when it comes to jokes / joking. How the rule basically works is that 50% of whatever you say as a joke, you actually mean.
Keeping this rule in mind, you should pay attention to whatever your friend jokes about.
Jokes to take note of:

  • He/she jokes about the two of you dating
  • He/she jokes about you getting married
  • He/she jokes about kissing you
  • He/she calls you love names (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife or wifey etc) as a joke
  • He/she jokes about you being the best (cutest, hot, finest) couple
There are tons more. You just need to pay attention and take his/her jokes a little more seriously.

Similarly you should try the 50% joke rule.

·        Make jokes about the two of you dating.
·        Joke about the two of you getting married, kissing or growing old together.
·        Hint that you’d make a cute couple and then laugh about it.
·        Call him/her boyfriend/girlfriend.
Do the above and monitor your friend’s re-action closely. First re-actions are usually the most sincere and will allow you to know a great deal about your friends feelings towards you.

Ask him/her
It might be that simple. He/she might feel exactly the same and might just be scared that you don't, or be afraid that their feelings towards you might ruin the friendship (If your friends a guy, for more clarity read 'Possible reasons why he hasn't asked you out yet').

By asking your friend directly or by hinting (You might want to read up on making hints he/she won't miss), things will be made a whole lot easier and you will be able to know where you stand a lot quicker.

Get your friends or family members to ask your best friend
Similarly to asking friends and family members how he/she feels about you, you could get your family members or mutual friends to ask him/her how he/she feels about you.

You want to hear all the same things as in the previous point (asking friends and family members).
Remember that the most important element of a successful relationship is:

Friendship is the biggest part of any relationship. It allows you, as a couple, to be compatible, have fun together, spend tons of time together without getting bored, talk for hours, get along better and to be able to know each other better then anyone else.

From friends to more
Being best friends or really close friends means that you've already got this part of the relationship sorted out. All you need to do is give your relationship a push into the 'more then friends' direction.

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