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Sunday, January 20, 2013

Can you ever really forget someone : Getting over exes - Thought for the day

Thinking about a show I once watch on television ( The X-effect) made me come to a lot of realisations; Is it really possible to get over an ex? Can you really just completely forget him/her or move on erasing him/her completely? The answer 'no!' easily popped into mind.
The show mentioned above involves getting two exes (who have supposedly moved on and are dating other people) to spend the weekend together. Their partners are booked into a separate hotel with ways of monitoring their behaviour without them knowing and the exes are forced to share a hotel suite. The aim of the show is to not only test the trust between the exes and their new partners (would you let your boyfriend/girlfriend spend the weekend with their ex???) but also to demonstrate whether or not the exes still have strong feelings for each other and if those feelings are intense enough for the exes to be seemingly unfaithful to their new partners or decide to take their exes back at the end of the show leaving their new partners.

The show in itself is highly entertaining while disturbing at the same time. I guess its all part of the reality show scene.
The thing to spring to mind with regards to the show is that the feelings that so often get awoken by the exes while they’re spending the sudden time together (on arranged dates and in secluded accommodation) is nowhere near surprising but can be more easily described as basic human instant and interaction.

Forgetting all pointless flings, depth less dates and short-term relationships (which usually have no real meaning to them) and taking into account only relationships where real feelings were involved, is it really possible to just move on or just forget your ex? I don’t think so.
When you start developing feelings for someone or even start loving them, you love and become accustomed to certain things in them. This might be their smile, sense of humour, the way they look at you, their cute dimples or beautiful eyes or the way they make jokes about the silliest things. These traits aren’t going to go away and when you get to spend time with that person again (even if it is in a reality show) or if you bump into him/her and chat for a few minutes, those things are going to be right there staring you in the face.

If you allow yourself to openly remember and embrace every single thing you adored about that person you will see just how hard it is to let go or to forget.

When we choose to move on we choose to suppress and ignore feelings that were previously there (and which in some way still are); we choose to put the bad ahead of the good in order to help justify the ending of the relationship. No one can really completely forget but everyone can move on.

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