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Wednesday, January 9, 2013

How to get over an ex

How do I get over my ex? Will I ever be able to forget my ex? How can I forget my ex and move on?

Relationships once ended can be extremely hard to forget.  It is questionable whether one can in fact ever get over someone (depending on your feelings for him or her) but in order to live a fruitful and productive life after a failed relationship it is important to be able to move on.

How do I get over my ex?

The first point in getting over your ex is to know and understand the fact that you can never completely forget someone you once loved but you can move on (Read 'Do you ever really get over someone').

Love hurts
Once you've come to terms with the fact that you can never just erase someone you once had a relationship with, you will be able to be on your way to getting on with your life without your ex.

You need to be able to accept the fact that you're no longer together and be able to be content with the idea of no longer being a couple.

Below are ways to be able to come to terms with the break up, not being with your ex anymore and life without your ex in order to move on.

Admit it and deal with it

The first step is to come to terms with the fact that you're no longer together. It helps to rationalise the whole thing to yourself.

Tell yourself all the reasons why the relationship didn't and couldn't work, remind yourself why it failed and assure yourself that it's all for the best. 

Once you can admit that the relationship failed and that you need to move on from it then you're no longer in denial but on the track towards moving on.

Be content
You need to be content with the fact that you're no longer together. Being content doesn't mean being happy that you broke up or pretending you're happy. It means accepting it. You can't spend your whole life being upset about something you can't change so you need to be content and at peace with the situation.

Get closure
Sometimes you can't move forward from something unless you know what went wrong.
Broken Hearted
 If part of your reason for not being over your ex is because you don't know why the relationship ended then you might be stuck in confusion and unable to move on until you do know. In this case it would be best to try and get closure on the situation.

This can sometimes be done by making contact with your ex with the mere intention of finding out what went wrong in order to move on. Please keep in mind that this depends entirely on the situation you might find yourself in. If for example things ended really badly and there's absolutely no contact between the two of you or either of you has no intention of communicating with the other then it might be best to try and get closure in other ways.

You could try and find out from a close friend of your ex or a sibling or try and do a little investigating of your own.

Closure is extremely important because being left wondering makes it a lot harder to move forward.

Make a decision

Depending on the current situation, the reasons for the break up and the way you both feel about each other you will need to decide what YOU want. Sometimes when it feels like we can't get over someone no matter what we do or how hard we try to move on it's because we're not meant to move on from them. If you feel that the relationship you had with your ex can be fixed or you can give the relationship another shot (for the second or maybe even third time) then you need to decide to fix it and do everything you can to get your ex back. (Read 'Should I take my ex back' or 'how to get your ex back')

Missing my ex
If on the other hand, you know that the relationship cannot be fixed for various reasons (abuse, infidelity, distance, etc) then you need to decide to move on.

If you choose to leave your ex behind you need to let go completely: Read ' How to move on / forget your ex ' .
Remember to move forward

' You can't start the next chapter in your life if you keep re-reading the last one'
You have to move on!

All broken hearts can be mended
Break-ups are extremely hard and painful. Sometimes it might take months to get over someone. Sometimes it feels like even months don't do it and you can never get over a particular person even when you're with someone else.

The important thing is to decide what's best for you and move forward either fixing things with your ex or moving on with your life towards someone else with whom you can form a better relationship.

Remember, Prayer is a great help for guidance and courage:

' God grant me the SERENITY to accept the things I cannot change, COURAGE to change the things I can and the WISDOM to know the difference. Amen...'

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  1. What an interesting post to read, thanks for bringing it up.

  2. Thanks for the comment.
    Glad you enjoyed it :)


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