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Tuesday, January 8, 2013

How to forget your ex / How to move on

How can I forget my ex? I can't stop thinking about my ex, how can I move on from my past relationship? I don't know how to heal from the break up. I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to let go.

If you've gotten out of a break up and feel like the past relationship or your ex has some kind of a hold on you and you find it extremely hard to move on and let go then you need to read further.

Break ups are extremely hard. Sometimes the hardest part is letting go and moving on. So often we may know that the relationship that just ended was all wrong for us and our ex is the worst possible person for us and yet a part of our hearts still keep holding on. WE NEED TO LET GO. Unless you want to try and fix your relationship because you have faith that it could work this time around (read: Should I take my ex backDo second time around relationships work? and How to get your ex back) you need to move on.

You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.'

Tell yourself it's over and believe it. The only way forward is to know and believe that there's no going back.

Let go!!!
Write a letter to your ex. Depending on how things ended and the current situation you might not want to give it to him/her (Maybe you're not talking, you don't know what he/she will think or you just don't feel comfortable doing that) but that doesn't matter.

Whether or not you give the letter to your ex is irrelevant. if you feel that it would be better to give it to your ex then that's okay but it will work just as well if you don't.

The letter needs to be heartfelt, honest and true. You can write down all the good memories you have of the relationship, the things you loved about your ex, the feelings you have/had for him/her and the things you loved doing.
You need to write down all the mistakes you feel you made and everything you wish you could take back or any regrets you have whether it's hurting your ex that you regret or falling in love with him/her and letting him/her hurt you.
You also need to put down all the painful things. Everything that went wrong in the relationship; every tear, every hurt, every sadness.

Your letter has to be you expressing everything and getting everything out so that you're not holding onto or keeping any feelings for your ex anymore.
Write everything down in order to get it all out.

Remember to forgive!
Put forgiveness in your letter because it's the only thing that can set you free. Forgive your ex for whatever he/she did wrong or whatever he/she did to hurt you and forgive yourself! If you can't forgive yourself for the mistakes you may have made in your relationship and keep thinking 'I should have done this' or ' I should have done that different', you're going be emotionally stuck and trapped in an ended relationship forever! Forgiveness is the key to a world of freedom.

Once you're done you should have a long letter filled with all your feelings and emotions and you should feel like a major weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

Make a decision
You can now decide to give the letter to your ex (mail it to him/her, email it to him/her, etc) or you could burn it. Both options have their pro's and cons.

By giving it to your ex you're passing all the feelings and emotions, the hurt, anger and pain onto him/her and setting yourself free from it. You're giving him/her something to think about and allowing him/her to know that they can't hold you back or hurt you any longer because you're no longer bound to him/her by anger, hurt or pain. If this is what you want then you can take your chances and give him/her the letter. If however you feel that that's not what you want then you can go to your next option ; burn the letter.

Burning the letter allows you a feeling of release. You get to enjoy the feeling of destroying all the pain and hurt the same way it had attempted to destroy you. It is such a beautiful feeling to know that all the hurt is destroyed and you can eventually be free to live your life to the fullest again.

Every broken heart can be mended

Move on
Once that's done you need to keep moving forward and never look back. Be proud of where you are and all that you've been through an remember everything will only make you stronger.

Relationships take some time to get over. Some take longer then others.

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