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Wednesday, August 7, 2013

10 Tips in finding out how someone feels about you: Does he / she feel the same way?

How do I know if my ex wants me back? How do I know if my friend wants to be more then friends? How do I know if he or she likes me in the same way? How do I know if he has feelings for me?

Girl and guy friends:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
There are many ways of finding out how someone feels about you. The easiest way for most people is by looking for signs and hints in the other person’s behaviour. If you know someone relatively well and are able to have an open mind as well as be very observant, it should be relatively easy to read the signs and hints which might be evident with regards to the person you’re thinking about.

If you’d like to know why he hasn’t asked you out yet read here...
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The biggest disadvantage to looking at hints and signs when trying to figure out someone’s feelings is most likely to be the fact that hints and signs can sometimes be missed or misread resulting in further confusion or misunderstandings.

The easiest way to find out how someone feels (with a decreased percentage chance of getting things confused or mixed up) is by asking him or her. It might seem like a scary thought but in fact it really isn’t.

There are a few important tips or steps to keep in mind when doing this.

10 Tips in finding out how someone feels about you: Tips 1 to 5 (this article is done in two parts)

     1.      Be in a relaxed atmosphere

Whether you’re trying to find out how a friend feels about you, your best friend or your ex, it is important to be in a relaxed and / or fun atmosphere. Being in a position where everything is great will help your partner relax a whole lot more making him or her more likely to talk honestly and openly. If you’re having fun or a good time, the chances that the outcome of the conversation will be positive are more likely too.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
An important conversation such as the one you’re considering having is dense enough without making things a little more tense with the surroundings or atmosphere. Suggest or invite your partner on a light hearted fun date leading to the conversation. This will be a whole lot less strenuous then bringing up such a conversation during a formal dinner date at a fancy restaurant, for example. Do what makes you both feel most comfortable and relaxed.

      2.      Have fun

Plan a fun date or outing for you and your partner; go to the movies, out for ice-scream, to a theme park, etc. You know what you both enjoy doing (or enjoyed doing if you’re exes) so capitalise on this and make sure that you’re both having as much fun as possible.

Make sure that there is tons of laughing, smiling and having a great time throughout your date. The more fun you’re both having the more likely your partner is to see what an awesome time you have together and be more likely to not want to ruin things with you.

If you’re with your ex try and get him or her to remember how good you are together, how much fun you have together and how well you get along.
If you’re with a friend, best friend or just someone you like, make it your aim to show him or her how compatible you are on a deeper level and that you can have a great time as a couple (not just in a group or as one of each other’s friends). Remove yourself from the 'friends zone' and place yourself closer to the romance category.
Friends in love:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

     3.      Be a girlfriend / boyfriend (if that’s what you want)

For this date (even though you’re not a couple) pretend to yourself that you are one WITHOUT the kissing, etc. Behave the way you would if you were in a relationship with him or her.
Be a girly-girl or a gentleman kind of guy; wipe the sauce from his lip or pull the chair out for her. Treat your partner the way you would if you were dating and allow him or her to see you as a great girlfriend or boyfriend if only for a little while (during the duration of the date).

   4.      Get as close to intimacy (kissing, cuddling, holding hands) as you can

Treat the date as somewhat of a challenge. When you’re on the date do a lot of light flirting. By light flirting I don’t mean blatantly hitting on your partner in a way that will freak him or her out or surprise him or her, but more subtly as in tip 3 above. Also:
·        Touch him or her more than usual (casually on the arm, back or leg during conversation or laughing)
·        Stand or sit closer to him or her then usual
From friends to more:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
·        Smile a lot

Please note that all of these tips are meant to be EXTREMELY light and barely noticeable but your partner is likely to pick up on them subconsciously. Don’t exaggerate any of these points or your partner will be more weirded out then impressed.
As part of this tip (especially if you haven’t yet) try and be in positions where it would be easy for your partner to kiss you or hold your hand.

By having him or her hold your hand or kiss you (more importantly) this would make your whole ‘finding out how he or she feels about you’ task much simpler. Depending on your current relationship and whether or not this has happened before, it could make your conversation go a whole lot smoother or eliminate it completely if you feel a kiss is enough to tell you how he or she feels about you (example whether or not he or she wants to be more then friends or wants to get back together with you).

While walking with your partner, allow your hand to occasionally brush up against his or hers in such a way that if he or she wants to (and commonly on impulse) it would be easy for him or her to hold it.

While sitting or enjoying a ride or a movie (depending on what your date entails) make sure that you are occasionally close enough to your partner for a kiss. This could be easily done by moving a strand of hair out of her face or removing an “eye-lash” from under his eye (one that isn’t really there ofcourse). Please note; DON’T kiss him or her or it defeats the whole purpose. The whole point is to see how he or she feels about you!

If you do decide to or happen to kiss him or her you can still use his or her reaction to the kiss as an indication of his or her feelings for you; does he / she pull away? Does he or she seem happy?, etc

      5.      Timing is everything

As with most things in life timing is of extreme importance when it comes to having this conversation. Don’t spring it on your partner at the wrong time or it could ruin the mood, make things awkward or potentially spoil the rest of the date. Wait for the right moment.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The right moment to speak to your partner about everything would likely be towards the end of the date. Besides (as priory mentioned) the fact that it would prevent the rest of the date from being awkward if things don’t go well, telling your partner towards the end of the date allows him or her to have enjoyed a full date of fun with you.

As mentioned earlier, the aim of the fun date is to allow your partner to see how well you get along and how much fun you have as a couple, if you’ve achieved this then the timing is perfect for the conversation.

An ideal situation would be to have the conversation after the date in a private or semi-private atmosphere where you have enough privacy to talk (on the couch back at either of your places, in the car, in a secluded picnic spot or garden, etc.).

For tips 6 to 10 (including writing a letter if speaking makes you feel nervous, what to say and how to deal with the outcome) read here...

Remember, as the saying by Winston Churchill goes:

'Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen. ' 

Speak out and tell your partner how you feel: don't be afraid to find out how he or she feels too. Have the courage to listen to what he or she has to say.
When all is said and done what's the worst that could possibly happen?

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My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online

My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online
Shaylee has a secret she's been hiding from everyone... Beneath her brave exterior lies a girl bruised and scarred by life but strong enough to make it through anything. Moral of the story: Sometimes we don't find love because we don't know what to look for.