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Thursday, August 8, 2013

How to show someone you've changed: How do you show someone you've changed? - Question and Answer


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My boyfriend and I dated for 6 months until he ended things.
A few days later I called saying I wanted to to fix things with him. He agreed and said that we could be back together for a certain amount of time. He said he’d give me a few days only to show him that I've changed.
Apparently he broke up with me because I suffocated him and he felt like his life was meant to be all about me all the time. He also said that I had changed him and that he wanted me to change too. I really didn’t know that I had been doing this to him.
How can I show him that I’ve changed?


Hi there!

Thanks a lot for contacting me with your question. I really hope that I will be able to help you.

Firstly it's great that you're trying to find ways of becoming a better partner in the relationship and your boyfriend should be really happy and grateful to have you because of this.
Broken hearted:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Secondly if you think “changing" is needed then consider the fact that your boyfriend ended things due to feeling like he had to CHANGE for you; do you really want to be put in a similar situation?

If  you want to be the same person but just with fewer faults then that's awesome. You've already pointed out and realised what went wrong in the relationship (you being clingy or needy) so you know exactly what it is you need to work on in order to show him that you've "changed":

  • Let him have his "space" if that's what he feels he needs
  • Demonstrate your independence by going out with your friends or having fun without him sometimes
  • Don't constantly question him on his whereabouts or what he's doing
  • Be okay without him and you’ll be even better together.
Please remember that your boyfriend must have had some faults of his own within the relationship too. No one is perfect so don't blame the complete failure of the past relationship on yourself. If changes need to occur they have got to be from both you and him. A relationship requires the dedication of  two people; you both need to work hard at it for it to work.

Good luck & God Bless!

Jade Monique Taylor
Love, Life and Relationships

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