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Friday, September 21, 2012

How to fight / argue with your boyfriend / girlfriend less: How to reduce or stop fights in your relationship

How can we decrease fighting in our relationship? How can we argue less or have less arguments in our relationship? How can we stop fighting / arguing? What are some tips on fighting less? My boyfriend/girlfriend and I fight a little too much, how can we reduce the fights we have? How can we stop arguing? How can I stop fighting / arguing with my boyfriend / girlfriend?


Love has it's ups and downs:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Sometimes it’s best to have an idea on what’s going on in your partners head or what’s on his or her mind even if it does come out in the form of arguments or disagreements.
The fact that you take the time to voice your opinion to your partner or he or she voices his or her opinion to you demonstrates that either or both of you still care about the relationship enough to fight for it.


Arguments:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
In contrast to the benefits of “fighting” or rather constructive arguments; too many fights, arguments or disagreements can sometimes have a negative effect on your relationship.

Some of the negatives resulting from excessive fighting are:

     ·        A decrease in interest in the relationship due to a feeling of not having your partner understand or care about your feelings or emotions
    ·        A hiding of opinion and feelings in a bid to drastically prevent fights and arguments
    ·        Long term scaring as a result of things which might have been said due to anger in an argument.

How to fight or argue less

Hold my hand:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
The simplest way of reducing fights and arguments (although it might not be that easy to carry out at first) is by switching roles. Put yourself in your partners place as best you can. That doesn’t mean think as your partner from your point of view; what it means is become your partner for a few minutes. Literally put yourself in your partner’s shoes and argue his or her side to yourself.

How to argue your partners side

If for example the problem is that you feel like your partner is insecure because he or she feels that you flirt with other people put yourself in that role:

·        Picture yourself seeing your partner flirt with other guys / girl and think about how it makes you feel.
Would you be happy or okay with the idea of walking into a party and seeing your partner in a corner with a guy or girl (not knowing whether they’re flirting, talking, exchanging numbers, etc.)? Despite the fact that you may feel that you might ask your partner about it before jumping to conclusions think about your initial reaction and how you would feel.

Love hurts:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
·        Argue your partners side by telling yourself all the reasons why you feel that you don’t like your partner flirting with or appearing to flirt with other guys or girls.
Would it make you feel like you’re sharing your partner with other guys or girls?
Would it make you feel like your partner sees other guys or girls as attractive?
Do you want all of your partner’s attention for yourself?
Use all these points to argue your partners point of view and your partner’s side of the story.

·        Justify your partner’s actions by thinking about all the possible reasons why it’s okay or somewhat acceptable for your partner to react the way that he or she reacted or is reacting.
Love conquers all:
Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Does it (in anyway) show you that you’re partner cares about you (maybe in the fact that he or she would like all your attention in contrast to you giving other guys / girls your attention)?

·        Let some things slide.
If you can see your partners side a little clearer and understand a little better why the situation is the way that it is, you may be able to see the argument as being less of a big deal or a little less major than what you initially thought. If you can get to this point you could possibly convince yourself to let things slide
Example: Seeing that your partners side or behaviour may be even a little tolerable or justified you should be able to measure how major the situation actually is and thus be able to decide on whether or not you could let it slide.

Many fights are sometimes caused by or based on silly, petty or little things or differences that are really not at all worth all the drama and energy fighting or arguing takes up. By being able to decipher occurrences and issues within your relationship by seeing your partner’s side, you will be able to limit arguments and fights to those surrounding important or major matters and not trivial or insignificant ones.

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