Her ego stops us from fixing things and then there’s also the other guy... I'm lost and confused

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My wife and I are separated at the moment and living separately. We have a two year old little boy together. Our separation is my fault. But she refuses to separate from me completely or file for a divorce. 

There’s this other guy she says she likes but she won’t date him "officially". On the contrary we spend time together and sometimes she’ll hold my hand and touch my hair or cheek. On a rare occasion we’ll sleep together. 

My problem is that we have that feeling of awkwardness and also start to have fun afterwards. But then I feel like her ego stops us from fixing things and then there’s also the other guy... I'm lost and confused what could I possible do? 

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Hi there

It seems to me that your wife still has feelings for you, loves you and cares about you – which is no surprise. You can’t just move over or past a long term relationship or a deep commitment like a marriage.

My best advice to you would be to take the time to apologize to her, tell her that you know you were wrong and that you regret whatever went wrong. Let her know that you want to fix things and make them work no matter what. Tell her that you NEED her not want her. Make her feel important, loved and special – as I’m sure you feel that she is.

If you know you made the mistake it’s up to you to fix it and let her know how sorry you are. Let her know that you are fully committed and dedicated to making things work and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to fix things.

I would suggest that you go for counselling if you feel that your problems are bigger than you. Sometimes a relationship will keep failing or lacking in success due to the fact that both parties don’t know how to fix or sort out the problems of the relationship. Sometimes it can be as simple as getting a third – unbiased – party involved to help you out. If you haven’t yet tried couples therapy or relationship counselling and are all up for trying to fix your relationship and make it work, there can be no harm in trying.

If you love each other – which I’m sure you do, are both committed to making the relationship work and are both dedicated enough to each other and your relationship; your relationship can be saved, it can be restored and it can be a success.

Good luck and God Bless

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Posted by Jade