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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Relationships and debt / financial problems: How to stop fighting over money, debt and finances

How do you stop fighting over money? How do you stop fighting over debt? Why does debt lead to fighting? Why do financial problems and debt cause arguments?
They say 'money is the root of all evil' with good reason. With debt problems plaguing the world, debt is a serious problem in most households. Debt alone can not be blamed for fights and tension in many households but one can easily argue that the stress that comes a long with it can be.
Stress increases mood swings and makes everyone oversensitive to little things and snappy to most things resulting in fights being easily sparked.

When dealing with issues like debt it is important to pull together, cling to each other and work as a team. Ironically the one time when you need each other the most, you're almost being forced to push each other way making your problems even worse and giving yourself even more to stress about.

The following points might help you minimise or successfully eliminate all fights in anyway related to debt or financial problems.

1. Talk about it and remain transparent.
The first step to avoiding fights is to talk about. Talk about the fact that you're feeling stressed, depressed or sad due to the surrounding circumstances. Express your concerns and feelings to your partner and listen to the way he or she feels. It's highly possible that he or she feels exactly the same way. By talking about it you're getting it off your chest which will help greatly in reducing random explosions, over sensitivity and using your partner as a punching bag to rid yourself of your frustrations.
When you keep things bottled in it results in flare ups and explosions which could only result in you hurting your partner and the other way around. Be open and transparent with each other, a weight will be lifted off your shoulder and you'll be less likely to fight.

2. Stick together and support each other.
As mentioned earlier, during trying times like debt and financial issues it's unfortunate that it often results in couples pushing each other away. This happens for many reasons:
- You might have explosions due to keeping things bottled up (as previously mentioned)
- You might resent your partner for not helping enough financially
- You might resent your partner for a past decision he or she made which you feel has gotten you in the position you're in.
-You might resent your partner for not working or being able to work.

During any crises it is often that fingers are pointed and the blame is shifted back and forth. This is one of the major reasons for couples being separated or drifting a part during such times. It's important to put the past behind you, any issues or situations resulting in you pointing fingers and any blame and to focus on drawing closer to each other for support and strength.

3. Put your relationship or family first.

When making decisions it's important that you put your family first. You need to bare in mind your current condition and realise that it's up to you to change it. Remember that you are responsible for your family and the survival of it (whether you're a big family with children, a little one with a baby on the way or just the two of you).

4. Make things work.
Only you can fix things. take responsibility for the position you find yourself in and realise that only you can get yourself out of that mess. You need to work together as a team to fix things and to make them better again. Find strength in each other, brain storm, work hard and remain positive.

5. Don't become another statistic.
It is far too often that relationships end in divorce. It is just as often that a divorce is due to financial difficulties or conflict that arose due to it. DON'T BECOME A STATISTIC. Fight to be different, fight to make things work and fight to keep your relationship or marriage going.

Don't let money be the evil in your household. remember, there is more to life then material things.

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