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Friday, February 28, 2014

Should I wait or move on? - Ending a long term relationship

My ex of 8 years broke up with me and moved out a few months ago after a big fight. I'm hurt cause I really love her and want to work things out. She said I should leave her be so I did but during that time she came over on 3 occasions and called a few times. When I tried calling her a few days ago she became upset. I'm confused because everyone says she loves me and needs time but I don't know what to do. Should I wait or move on.


Hi there

Thanks for contacting me with your issue.I’m really sorry that you’re going through this confusion at the moment and hope that I will be able to help at least a little.

I think that you should listen to your friends and family who have advised you to give her space. You don’t need to move on and start dating other people if you don’t feel ready but you do need to try and occupy yourself with other things at the moment to try and give you time to be yourself in the meantime. IS there a sport you like? A hobby maybe? Even some friends or family members you haven’t spent time with in a while. 
The more time you can spend with your mind off your ex the better.
Be sure that she knows how you feel though. If you’ve told her that you’re sorry for whatever you’ve done wrong and that you still care about her or would like to make things work then there is nothing more you can do. If you haven’t yet then it’s best you do this before giving her space. Let her know how you feel. If she gets mad that you contact her or you don’t feel comfortable doing so in person or over the phone, then write it in a letter (read about this here). 
Be sure to let her know how you feel AND TELL HER THAT AS PER HER REQUEST you will respect her decision and leave her be until she’s ready to make contact with you. Then stick to your word – don’t call, don’t text, don’t poke her on Facebook, etc. 
If she wants to be with you after thinking about it and seeing that you’re not making contact, she will make contact with you.  

If she does contact you, be clear to her that you need to know what it is she wants – does she just want to be friends, is she thinking about trying to fix things, etc. Tell her that it isn’t fair for you to receive mixed signals from her - If she is reasonable she’ll understand that.

Don’t torture yourself during this time: like I said keep your mind occupied.

You should also read:

Hope this helps!
Good luck and God Bless!


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My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online

My Book!!! Click on the image to read the first couple of chapters online
Shaylee has a secret she's been hiding from everyone... Beneath her brave exterior lies a girl bruised and scarred by life but strong enough to make it through anything. Moral of the story: Sometimes we don't find love because we don't know what to look for.