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Friday, July 31, 2015

Should I take my ex back: Should I give my ex another chance?

Should I take my ex back again? Should I give my ex a chance to fix things? How many chances are too many?

Boomerang relationships are far from few and far between. Many make the decision of taking an ex back, trying to fix a damaged relationship or giving their former partner a second, third or fourth chance.

The question of whether or not to try again is one simply answered by thinking it out clearly and logically. In order to decide whether or not to give your former partner another chance, the following should be considered:

Have you given him / her another chance before?

If you've given your ex numerous chances before or this is even the third chance you'd be giving him / her then maybe you should reconsider. If someone has a second chance and repeats their past mistakes then it becomes evident that they seem likely to be set in their ways and there is a huge possibility that they won't change at all. Chances are high that you will find yourself in the same position again in the future.
Giving someone more than once chance also proves to them that they can keep on messing up and you will keep on forgiving them. It increases your chances of being treated badly in the future.

If this is only the second chance you would be giving them then it's okay to consider doing so - it does not necessary mean that you should or have to give them another chance though. this depends on numerous other factors.

How bad was the mistake him / she made?

Was it something simple like he / she forgot to do something important, forgetting an anniversary date, etc or something more severe like cheating, lying or being abusive?
There is a difference in the intensity and reason for breakups and you should definitely take this into consideration when deciding whether or not to try again.

Can you envision everything going back to normal at any point despite what went wrong?
If for example, your ex cheated on you or had an affair, you could forgive him or her but what would your relationship be like thereafter? would you ever be able to trust him / her again? Would you ever be able to be with him / her without thinking about the other person - what they did, where they were, how intimate they were? Somethings you are able to forgive but not to forget. Trying to fix a relationship that is bound to end again is just prolonging the inevitable and increasing the pain.

What do you have to loose if the same mistake were made again?

Think about it this way - if you took your ex back after he made the mistake of putting his / her friends above you and he / she did it again what's the worst that could happen? You could get mad at him / her, get in an argument, break-up again etc.

If you took back your ex after he / she had numerous affairs, cheated or had a one night stand what's the worst that could happen? He or she could get pregnant / get someone else pregnant, you could get an STI or disease etc.

Making the decision to take someone back is a hard one. If you don't you could always wonder - what if he / she really had changed, what if we could have been together and happy now, what if things would have been better.
If you do take them back and things fail again or you end up worse off (as in with a disease etc) you'll always regret your decision.

You never know for sure what the right or wrong decision is. The best thing to do is to consider all the facts, weigh out the pros and cons and risks and make a decision from there. 
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